Too much worrying? I hope she's ok in there

08/13/2010

12-21-2010


We had another appointment yesterday. Kevin was supposed to go but he got stuck at school trying to get his financial aid stuff figured out and then he bought books. So while he's having all this great fun, I'm sitting in the doctors office. They check my weight -- I gained 6 pounds! I was pretty proud of myself but Dr. Watson said I can't make a habit out of it. A bubble burster but I'm sure I'll manage. All of those random tests I had came back great. My pap was clean and all that great stuff. We listened to Brooklyn's heartbeat. Then we listened to it skip. And then beat some more. Skip. Beat. Skip. I almost cried! Here I am sitting here thinking I have this incredibly healthy little girl, and her heart's not functioning properly. I felt like the worst mom in the world. How could I not know?! Dr. Watson said she wasn't too concerned but that she was going to send us to a specialist anyway. We have to go to Charlotte on the 23rd of August. Presbyterian Hospital. 2 pm. I'm scared. Kevin seems ok about it though. He did take me to babies r us and we bought a little device that doesn't even work until the 3rd trimester but it has headphones to listen to the baby's heartbeat. My little sister has a heart murmur and she's just fine! But that's apparently not what this is. I asked. The doctor said it could be that she was just really excited or that it could be something serious and we're catching it early on. I read online that they don't breathe inside of us so they have holes in their heart that don't heal until they're born. That gave me some comfort, but not much. I'm still freaking out which isn't good either but I'd rather be worried and prepared than carefree and we soon find out we have some huge medical situation coming. I'd like to be prepared. She kicks me every time I think about the appointment. Even when I think she's sleeping and I think about the 23rd or her heartbeat, KICK! It's comforting, but still a mother worries. I hope she's ok in there.

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