2007 , aged 15 ..[ god i feel old ] I left school and barley pulled trough my exams due to bullying it took me 4 hole years to stand up for myself [very proud moment] it was a class we was awaiting the year 11 "run trough with our parents of how the year 11 would go [duno how or why it happened] but me and my younger sister Rebecca kept giving the main Bully Evils ..and glaring her out ..and it was coming to the end of the meeting & i just got up [my dad was crapping himself wondering if i was going to give her a good push around] i Sat beside her and her mother [who looked more like her nan] And asked her one question are you L...D...mother ?? and she said yes[ & they both looked very puzzled ] In that case will you tell your daughter to keep her hands off me or next time I with knock her teeth down her throat & i will promise you I will kill her if she lays a other hand on me ...got up and walked away ...& with that things got better for a while but i never felt like i had any friends [apart from in my art class] so i slowly started to withdraw myself from everyone and would Skip school even in the winter and would just sit nest to the grapes pool Summer or snow I was always there for almost 5 months of school term and not a soul noticed I was missing until the Woman who owned the pub Called them up worried that i was [ suicidal as I would always sit on this daring bit of the lake were you legs would dangle just above the ripples on it Id Chuck berry's off the tree into the water its the one place that i have ever truly felt safe .. I left school in the June and started college in august turned out to be one of the best years of my life [& still till this day miss being there ] I had tons of friends but had also a best friend [on occasions " she wanted to fit in with everyone and would burn her roots with others to do so ] but we was closer than close if I was ever accused of being Bisexual or gay that was the closet thing ever but when I got with my ex Chris things completely changed Laura my best friend was " really jealous of him completely hated him and so did the others personally Chris was a good person caught in a bad situation he'd been in care since he was 7 years old [ his mother just randomly took him there one Day and left him asleep in the waiting room and did not see him until he was 17 ..[was 19 when i met him] << so he already came with a cocktail of trouble in the waiting we would go up & down wales back a forth to the midlands every two weeks and within maybe a month or So his behavior became Odd and the more i went back to wales with him the more odder he became Whenever he came down to mine he was always interested in my younger sister who was then 14 so i was a bit funny about them being around each other [ my sister was only trying to keep out the way of my mood swings at that point they would drop in like a bomb had went of Id shake in anger and everything ] play mind games with me about her ..we both was down in the dump's near to October but we dragged on but a time bomb was waiting for us at the end of that month My dear nan had been ill in aug 2008 and asked my mum and dad to move in with her and so we was left with our older brother for 2 months on this Halloween night would be the last time I saw my Nan's beautiful smile around 9pm she had a heart attack and passed away we was all there I can remember my mums & granddads screams , Rebecca yelling down the phone to the 999 call Telling them to just hurry up and stop asking stupid questions and me in a rampage trough her medical box trying to find something with there address on I knew before we got to medical room that she was not going to make it in the early morning they turned the life sir-port machine off with he 5 children and Most of her 16 grandchildren around her.
we went to see her in the chapel of rest ..She did not look like my Nan at first and her cold hands frighten me I broke down ..first time that i ever really did in- front of my family i did not know what to say or do all i knew is i had lost my nan and that she was never coming back ... we looked after my granddad 2008/2009 I am sad to say that we granddad & i did not always get along and I am ashamed of my behavior towards him back then he was hurt and Felt alone and so did we, mum and dad did there best to take care of him and i would help out most the time as well as around the clock care workers who would be here 4 times a day 7 days a week , my parents are the only children out of the 5 who did not want him putting into care and fought for him to stay in his own home where he belonged granddad was not always grateful for it never had a thank you off him until the end was near for himself he loved animals just like me but I did not agree with him spitting food on the floor for the cats ,[would turn my stomach ] around xmas my cousins were over and we kept a cat due to his cat dying and he got her head and forced it into the food bowl the kids were scared stiff and so was the cat ..megon was put off being held for a long time after that ...coming towards Christmas there was a huge changed in Chris would pick fights one second he loved me the nest he did not would take me to random places in wales I:E took me on the top of a mountain park inmaesteg wales his home town were would stop with his mother who would go out parting while We defended for ourselves he had was acting like a child at first he in fact went down a slide and got soaked because of it but all of a sudden he had this weird look in his eye and he wanted me to go into the Shed thing at the back of the park and I wanted to go back to his mums but he would not let me ...Luckily me and Laura had a fallout and she text his phone saying sorry and this and that and i put on a crying act and made him take me home I don't think i have ever walked so fast in my life weird stuff like that went on until January 16 2010 the day I broke it off with him the night I was ill and needed to get up for a drink and because i knocked him when getting up he had a fit at me saying random shit ...he woke me up early hours of the morning saying that i don't love you anymore and that [weird overtake with myself happened] my reply was Well if you Don't love me Get out my bed pack your Things and go home .... [he was shocked that i said it ] but i meant it ..he tried to buy time by asking if he could say bye to everyone first ...I said no you have caused enough Shit with my family in the last 5 months Just get your shit & go and dont you ever come back ...he asked for his £25 silver engagement ring that he brought from Argos..Lol [t.b.h It was randomly brought but he told all my family that we was witch i found a bit odd and kind of Felt stupid ...[mouse court in a trap kind of stupid..everyone just Smiled that smile like [as if ] kind of smile ...
So I flung it at him and then asked him to hurry up and pack and get out ... he stud in the middle of the room and just stared at me ...with his eye bulging ... he brought his phone out his pocket called the police and claimed that I would not let him leave the house at this put I laughed like an animal And was like GET OUT!! and i chased him out the house & he ran down the stairs and out the house with no shoe's on and got on a bus and went round town a while & he claimed to police that i ran after him down the street knife at 9am Like really [ in the middle of January Like i am going to step a foot outside my front door obviously they took it with a pinch of salt when they turned up ... few hours passed and he called my mums phone up and was laughing down the phone asking to speak to me and and then he started crying .. and mum refused to let him speak to me .. the police found him walking around on an estate with no shoe's on and brought him back to ours [ i already packed most his things and left it outside the front door my dad put him in our car to go to the bus station and he ran off again ...and phone my mum up in tears i tried my best to calm him down but i was not going to take him back after everything he'd done over those 5 months my mum told him to get in the car so that my dad could take him to the station and he did he got as far as Newport before he was police got hold of him after he was found a sleep in someone's car in nothing but his boxers [i kept trying to call him to see if he got near home his mum was expecting him back as we explained what had happened but was worried when he did not turn up ..he ended up having a melt-down while in police custody and had been sent to a Mental institution in Abergavenny, Monmouthshire he has been there since 2009 and is still there After he was admitted he would send me letters ' phone my house on a weekly basis singing down the phone and "trying to make me take him back , i felt guilty for a while and felt that it was my fault that he ended up that and really felt that it was my fault for the Way he turned out [ i was haunted by that thought for a while & are always careful what i have said to partners since then always to scared to push them too much I ended the phone calls and the letters almost 2 years later before my next disaster he also tried contacting me via Facebook and this is the last convo i have ever had with him ..
March 19, 2011Christopher Queeley
Heyya
Well i know know that we aint gonna get back together but i do wanna stay friends at least... so if thats kwl with u anywayz if u dont wanna thats kwl 2 i mean it doesn't bother me anymore...
chris
March 20, 2011Sarah Taylor
if its okey with you then lets not be "friends " i think its time that you got on with your life and left me and my family alone i have told you more than once before that i dont want anything to do with you anymore but ud not take the hint i dont see the point in being friends after everything you put me trough i just dont want to now ..
April 2, 2011Christopher Queeley
k then sarah if that's what u want... i won't talk to ya again
in 2009 I meet trying bigger than Life kind of bloke who i was with for 5 months until in randomly Dumped me 5 months after him In 2010 I went onto a course and meet rick Who had two children aged 4 & 16 months old by two different moms [< the alarm bell should have gone off then ] anyways for some Reason this a ugly twat somehow God me caught in his web of lies and got me somehow to fall head over heels for him he claimed that him and the youngest mother were split up but was living together witch started a hole love triangle he went with me for two weeks & then he went back to her for 2 weeks and then came back to be for 11 months [unsure weather they had been together since the last time i knew ] I first meet Lilly~mae 16 moth old baby girl few days after dating rick he brought me back to the apartment to meet Kim & Lilly was very weird to be honest me and Kim sat ether side of rick and Kim was Going daddy is a nasty man and stuff to Lilly and then Rick picked lilly up and went Go and give [s] a hug ... and passed her to me and at this point kim walked out into the kitchen and rick followed after her trying to calm her down i felt really upset and just wanted to leave ...but already felt pulled into this web that i could not get my self out of ... and the web kept on spinning I left the family home the same week knowing my parents could not stand him and would hate the idea of us being together so i up and left and we stayed on the floor of a friends for a while until we got fed up of the ants crawling all over us ..[rick then kicked lilly and kim out the flat so we could move in when i look back it was very harsh on them two , but i never asked him to make them leave or said anything about going back there ... & i am very sorry for that .. we did not see Lilly for 5 months after that in the Meantime my parents tried making an effort to iron things out with rick ..and bought all knew furniture and plates ete for the flat [ more for me than for him] in aug 2010 I had an implant fitted that my mother insisted that i had my P-dates have always been on and off ...and sadly it turned out i was pregnant before or after I had the implant fitted that made me have a miscarriage on the 4th sept 2010 I was beyond devastated [still am until this day ] but i had no time to sit there and dwell on it I became a step-parent over night for 5 months we had not since lilly or knew anything about her whereabouts just that Kim had her and was moving away & changing her last name ..but we started having her in November 2010 and put all my energy focusing on her by this time we had given up the flat and moved back to my parents and we started having lilly over night ete [kim tried anything she could to win rick back ] that first day when we went to pick her up she was wearing a see trough Dress and you could pretty much see every Lump of skin under it ..did not bother me one bit .and we had her for about a month after that , and they got into a row and she cutt contact off again ... until January2011 after her 2nd birthday ... She became my hole world in them 3 months rick only used Lilly and me to get at kim he did not really want nether of us but just always wanted to get one over on her ... and when she started dating he became Really jealous over it ete I loved lilly to bits And i would do anything for her and still would [know if she ever needed me] he was sometimes really nasty towards Lilly is she cried or anything ete and i would feel protective of her the amount of times his Slammed her feet on the floor to make her stand up , he smacked her so hard across the face the one day that I really wanted to call Kim to take her home but knew it would spark a row between everyone I was livid and took her downstairs away from him ....most days when we had her Id be up with her first thing and we would Crawl down the stairs together Id make her egg on toast and give her drinks ete and we would go off and play in the garden or we'd hide under her big red toy box and scream at each other [ and laugh away at each other tapping on the box my favorite memory is the last day we had together we was sitting on the deck swing and blowing those dandy lions ...she was trying so hard to copy me it was Adorable ..me and rick split two days after that Lilly had a fall While in her mums care [somehow i think it was more than a fall but there is no proof ] but Lilly would often come over smelling of cat Urine and Have cat feces all over her Shoes and she often was dirty ... her feet normally was black ..& i have only ever saw her hurt Lilly once when we first gave her back and lilly did not want to go back with her and refused to go back in the pram so She chucked her in it and bent her arm back really hard in order to keep her init ..all i know is lilly was a perfectly healthy child in my care ,but a year on and i found out that she has needed hearing aids ...weather that was from the fall in her mothers care [ maybe fall] or rick doing things to her ... [ he had a things for slapping me round the ears repeatably ] he was often violent like that making it into a game but I often came off more bruised ....so they ended up getting back together had a other Child within days of being with each other and 5 months after giving birth to the 2nd child she in pregnant again ..[charming] I really think kim is a lovely person and i wish the best for her and the kids I hope she finds the courage to Find someone who treats her right one day that is my only wish for her and those kids ..
since the 3rd of may 2011 I have been in a wonderful relationship with my partner he was in the same year as me in the same high school just Minutes apart he has known my younger sister for 7 years he treats me rite and I am the most happiest i have ever been as you can see it has taken me a huge journey in order to get here but I would do it all again for the same result ..my boyfriend is wonderful to me and treats me like a princess and he'd never hurt me Unless Its form laughing to much as we declare tickle fight ...he is my life and id be lost without him Sure I have plenty of scars on my heart more than I would like to admit but they are slowly heeling and fading away John has brought me so much joy and love he has shown me after all i have been trough how to just be myself again and not feel like i need to act a Type of way in order to be liked that I don't need to drop the pounds or put makeup on or Do anything i do not need to I hope that he is the one i marry his family is amazing and I have never gotten on with my family as i have since i have meet him
♥ As long as I have my wonderful family & boyfriend Everything Else can wait As for the moment in time Its perfect Just the way it is ♥
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5 years 
