"Had the accident turned out differently..."

04/02/2009

One of the girls I work with asked me yesterday, "Tatiana, had the accident turned out differently, and thank goodness it didn't, what would you be most ticked off at yourself for not doing?" I told her the first thing that came to my mind, not having more stuff published and not having my novel edited. I'm so proud of my writing and my writing accomplishments. Ridiculously proud. But I've put my writing on the back burner a little to long. I keep meaning to write something more serious than I have been and my dad has been instrumental in harassing me to do so. And I had been but not with the same passion. I hate the idea that my novel could have stayed the crappy pile of words that is rather than being left as something potentially useable or at the very least something that was readable. It's a shame it took being hit by a Sunfire to make me realize that.

My dad asked me if my life was at least interesting when it flashed before my eyes. I will say it wasn't 8mm black and white but also wasn't a 3D Imax adventure film either. It was kind of just there. Never thought I would ever get to say I saw my life flash before my eyes. Not something I have on my 101 list.

I mentioned to the same co-worker though that this also caused me re-evaluate a lot of stuff and shuffle my priority list a little bit.

This whole thing also made me count my blessings a little more carefully and was a further reminder to me that I'm not thankful for the hard times in my life like I should be. Hell I use to think I was very thankful, gratitude journal and all that jazz. Yeah watching your life flash before your eyes changes all that I've learned.

I'm still pretty sore, bruised, and feeling stupid for not paying attention. I'm also feeling terrible for making people worry and scaring John, Beryth and Greg. John is taking it all in strides though. We had the following conversation yesterday;

T: Puppy what would you have done had I died?
J: Two chicks at once!
T: *glares* seriously!
J: *thinks for a moment* Been really really really sad. I don't think anyone else could stand being married to me. Or you for that matter.
T: It wouldn't matter...I would be dead.
J: Well you're not and the fact still remains we had to be married because no one else could stand us.

*Back story* John and I are Haylee's legal guardians if something, heaven forbid, were ever to happen to both Jamie and Matt.

A little while later we had this conversation;

J: You can't die.
T: Why not?
J: If you die, and Jamie and Matt die then I'll have to look after Haylee all by myself.
T: You wouldn't have to.
J: Yes I would. Who would tell her how awesome you guys are?
T: *gets weepy* Really?!
J: I think you're leaking. Just make sure you're never in a deadly accident with Jamie and Matt okay.

I like how he assumed that if there was a deadly accident Jamie and I would some how be involved.