I play this silly game

You came to her today.
So shy, smiling, and anxious.
You place your hand on her arm.
Ask how she's been.
What time she is out.
& if you might be able to walk her home.

She keeps silent, contemplating,
working quickly before answering
"four-thirty"
and something like
"yeah, I'll go"

& her heart skips a beat
she catches herself
and sighs.

So you meet her
down at the picnic bench
as she finishes her cigarette.

She laughs and calls you silly
for wearing three layers of clothes
in 90 + degree weather.
You jump right in to
rationalize your actions.
You take off two layers.
And head out down the street.

She's screaming inside.
Screaming :
Look at me!
Love ME.
Why can't you see !?

& so she walks in silence,
mmhmm-ing and saying yeahs
as you go on and on an on.
you occasionally pause to
catch your breath

They walk onto her street
& they're talking
about what they enjoy in life
what they look for within a friend
and a lover, and everything between.
And she's smiling.
& it hurts her
but she's smiling.
They're debate falls silent
and he hugs her

tells her she's amazing
and deserves so much better
than that last boyfriend
she had around
that she's smarter and cooler
than a lot of the girls he knows

and her stomachs tumbling
knotting, churning, screaming

Screaming :
Look at me!
Love me!

And he walks down the street,
humming some tune,
& she watches.
Knowing he's with someone

& she watches,
knowing she's never had a chance.