This is the next part of my story, previous part in last entry.
I entered into the 10th grade in 1994 (I know, I know, i'm old). The series "My So-Called Life" started that year and captured a bit of the feel of the time. The Crow movie came out then, and I remember it being the most popular film among us all (suck it, Twighlight ). Beavis and Butthead were traversing quickly from cult figures to mainstream success. Kurt Cobain died this year. It was a time of cool kids in cheap clothes, a time of grunge and cassette mix tapes, a time of angst and coffee and hand-made zines.
In this year I entered high school, taking honors courses in the major subjects and drama and art as electives. For the first time schoolwork could actually be challenging, but I got good grades. Art was fun but the teacher Mr Leetz was a rapid-changing manic depressive who looked like Bob Ross on heroine. The class activities were nothing new to me, but were good practice.
"Cupcakes for everyone...wait...nevermind.. fuck you!" - Mr Leetz
Drama got me out of the house and provided my first performing experience outside of piano recitals and weddings. That first year I had a small part in "Our Town". I loved the acting process; the exercises, the chaos of the production, the lights and greasepaint and cast parties. The breaking of the routine of life. That is the best thing about art, it can surprise you, it can change things, it can move mountains. Like love.
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? I never did. I had a recent Ms West Virginia for a teacher once but she was a bit of a bitch once you got to know her.
I developed a crush on a student girl Beth through a lot of high school, one of those intense afflictions where you trip over words and run into doors whenever the object of your affection is nearby. Everyone should live through at least one of those, and this was my first. Beth was a sort of ageless half-Indian environmentalist fairy with a love of comedy and math. One day a friend named Scary Joe approached me about Beth.
Scary Joe: I told Beth that you like her.
Me: You're a dick. But, um, what did she say?
Scary Joe: Oh My God.
That is all Scary Joe would say about the exchange. Scary Joe was a gargantuan, drooling sociopath, I can imagine teenage girls sort of giggling "oh my god" under their breath just because Scary Joe spoke with them in retrospect. However at the time I took that for a No. Beth and I had some courses together in high school and college and remain casual friends but nothing beyond that. Now she is married and teaches high school math in town and looks exactly the same as she did all those years ago. So I had a crush on a future teacher, who's agelessness means she may or may not be a vampire. Se la vi.
During that first year I attended many local music shows, watching hardcore bands play at filthy local venues that kept getting closed down by police when drugs were found. I carried a sketchbook everywhere and started having people I encountered write and draw things in it. I still have that first book started in this way, just after 9th grade. It is tattered and covered in stickers, filled with writing and art from people around whatever scene I was in at the time. It was a beautiful project and a great way to break the ice with new people.
"Hey baby, wanna see my bedroom? Wonka, Wonka!" - Beth in my first show sketchbook
That is the story of my first crush. The fact that it never went anywhere may be karma for all the people I turned down at the time. Shanna from art class followed me around every chance she got, metal girl Stephanie passed me letters, Debbie the Chicago blond, Amber who ended up being a stripper, Lorie who had three nipples made moves in that first year and I blew them off. I was not unattracted to most of them, just caught up in my head and was not looking for a connection at the time.
10th grade ended without any other major events, then I met Molly and Liz, got in a band and things changed again. |
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