Christmas arrived and left quickly, a candy cane blur of a holiday racing a weekend like lightning on glass. I got an Ebook reader, a Terabyte external hard drive, and some other random things. I love my reader, it is amazing that you can fit hundreds of books into something the size of a small paperback. Now I am reading the People's History of the United States, Napalm and Silly Putty by George Carlin, and the first novel in the Wheel of Time series. When we lived in Raleigh, NC I finished a book every couple of days, and all this reading reminds me of those times. Filled up with knowledge but growing socially retarded. That's me.
A few days before I went to Julian's Christmas play for school. His school does not have a big enough auditorium to accommodate this event so it took place in a local rich people mega-church. You know the type, one of those places with tall, tall ceilings, golden crown molding, a full-size movie projection screen,pastors in gaudy jewelry and socialite women with large pastel hair. It makes me wonder if there is any religion that spends it's money on helping people over this temple-building dance. But I digress.
Even this massive venue was packed for the evening with coughing extended families, fat men and women squeezing through the isles with cameras like greasy human toothpaste in camouflage hats over 80's haircuts. The principle threatened everyone with bodily harm if they left before the event was over. This was agonizing at times but the kids had fun.
E was unable to get out of bed and missed the evening, I had to suffer through it alone. She misses more things each year, it is like she is fading from the world. She missed Thanksgiving, made it through Christmas morning, and slept the rest of the day. Time will tell what happens for New Years.
I do not write about E and I's situation often because I believe if you start to complain about your relationship to someone other than your partner you are on the way to ending it. However she is dying, complaining about how hard it is to live like a single parent without actually being one to her feels selfish even to me. This situation calls for treading carefully and still not receiving a positive outcome, like waking up next to an ugly policewoman.
However as long as I can create I can get through anything. All things are a muse for the next movement, and in one way or another the story will fuel the fire for it's own telling down the road. The cats roll in the wrapping paper. The fireplace explodes. Christmas lights twinkle pensive and haloed to the music of the latest buzz. I hope your holiday went well and your plans for the new year are spectacular. I wish you peace. I wish you love. Barring that I wish you vodka and smoke. Salude. |
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