Today I am feeling ill and endless rainclouds engulf our state. There is a leak in the bathroom here that is getting more severe. We put buckets under the leak and water squeezes into them in spurts like juce from an orange. We should be able to secure a home loan by November, still looking at houses but have not found anything perfect.
In the end of Summer we took a vacation to Columbus zoo instead of the beach. Other than that I have been inside, stretched thin between work, watching Julian, housework, cooking, etc. E was in bed most of the time. Julian and I went to many family gatherings alone, wrapping up a plate to take home to her, not staying too long because she has to stay hydrated and have drinks brought up the stairs frequently. There was once a time when there were not so many people and things depending on me. I miss that time.
My circle of friends is shrinking, Mr Thin is glued to his couch, strung out on vicadin and World of Warcraft. Lee is on the road most of the time running his shamanism workshops. Milos is in a rabbit hole with her new man, she is one of those people who drop out of site when they enter a new relationship. I need to get out and meet some more people.
The fall is in the air, which always makes me feel outgoing. I will see live music or play an open mic soon, I miss the engergy of the human sea, the cool sparkle of the wet city, the echo of someone vomiting in the distant river. Change will come soon, next time the sun will shine, or a rainbow will lead to a pot-of-gold salesman. Until then, dance at the lightning and make it strike.
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