When I left off last time Rob and I had decided to be "friends with benefits." Like I said... it doesn't work. Number one, I still think the whole time he was just messing with my head. It all came to a boiling point last week when I was online talking to him for an HOUR... keep that in mind... an HOUR... just talking about nothing in particular... and then he asked me if I still loved him. I told him that was not a fair question and he said please just give him an honest answer. So I told him that yes I still loved him. He told me he still loved me too, and asked me to get back together with him. I said yes. Half of my brain was on cloud 9, the other half was SCREAMING at me that something was wrong. I listened to the wrong half. Rob had gotten offline and about 15 minutes later, my friend Brandon logged on and asked me to come talk to him privately. Before he got a chance to tell me what he wanted to tell me, I told him about being back together with Rob. He said that was going to make our conversation kind of awkward then but he still needed to tell me. Sooooooo.....
He proceeds to tell me that he has feelings for me. For the longest time he has thought I just reminded him of home and that's why he felt so close to me (he's from here in michigan but living and working in missouri). Then he said as time went on he started to realize that every time my name flashed on his screen that I had logged on, he started smiling and instantly became happier. My heart melted. I have ALWAYS liked Brandon, basically from the first day I started talking to him almost 6 months ago.... but I have always (and still do) thought he was WAY too good for me, so I never said anything or did anything about it. So here is this amazing guy telling me he has feelings for me, and it is completely overshadowed by Rob! My first instict was to tell him that I would go back and end it with Rob... but before I could keep going in the conversation, Randy decided to come flop down on the bed! Well since technically randy and i are still together, and he knows nothing about my attempts to replace him, I just switched off the system and then texted Brandon and told him my cable went out, so he wouldn't think I was mad at him. It was after 3 a.m. and I could not stand to think anymore so I just went to bed.
The next morning, I found out that my father possibly still had cancer. I was SO upset! I logged on to talk to Rob, or Brandon, or whoever was around, to cheer up! Within 10 minutes Rob logged on and sent me some complete BULLSHIT message about being drunk the night before and not remembering anything that happened. I know it's bullshit, I know him, I know how he talks when he's drunk, I talked to him for an hour that night, he was NOT drunk!!!!! He did it just to hurt me! And in the process he caused me to hurt Brandon, which was even more unforgivable!!!!!
I cried to Brandon, I explained everything to him, we had a long talk... and.... we are not jumping into anything, but we are taking things slow and seeing where they go, because we want to be together, but neither of us want to get hurt again. But believe me, this is a truly amazing guy! There is not a chance on this earth that I actually deserve him, but however I got this blessed, I'm more than willing to go with it... THEN to top it all off, Brandon was SO pissed off at what Rob did to me that he confronted him and went off on him... it was awesome lol So that's life for now, I'll update again soon! lol
P.S. oops forgot something.... So Brandon is coming back to Michigan to visit his parents (and me) in April, and he asked me if I would move down to Missouri with him when he goes back... AND... I still have to figure out how the hell I get out of this relationship with Randy, because I've long since given up on it...
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