So, I stalked Lester's facebook today. Hannah and him are together still, which I suspected.
Backstory, for new readers. Hannah was my BFF for three years. She was 21, I'm 27. Quite the age difference. She was mature beyond her years. We could tell each other anything and no judgment. I miss that because I do not get that with Paige. (Paige scoffed at the fact I don't believe in god. What's so unbeleivable? Do some research, atheists are everywhere).
Anyways, her BF was Les, and she had a one year old baby, Joseph. Les had a problem with Hannah's drinking, which was in the house only, by herself. Weird, I know. But that was her thing. When Les drank he became a dick. Their fighting was out of hand. So I offered an out, after I had to call the cops on Lester during a convo with Hannah when shit got out of hand between them. She took it. She came up here for two days, then told me her mom offered her a bomb job and she had to go back. She never spoke to me again. She was also regnant during this time, wanted an abortion, but told me she was miscarrying.
I racked my brain since July tring to figure out what happened. She has cried to me several times, telling me she tells Lester to never make her choose between me and him, because she would choose me. I tried to figure out what I did.
Lester's status today, "Sitting here drinking coffee thinking up baby names with Hannah." She didn't miscarry. This is what happened: He called her that morning, not her mom. Told her of they would both quit drinking, they could put their family together and work through. To keep the baby. But if he quit drinking, she would have to stop talking to me. I'm the one he blames for tearing up their family. Which I didn't. It was him. I just provided her a place to stay.
I'm relieved. I didn't do anything to her. But I know that as long as they are together, I'll never have my friendship with her. That's okay. I miss her so much and wish I could share this time with her, but as long as she is happy I am okay with that. I want to email her... I just don't know if I should. I want to tell her I have my closure and I get it, and I love her and am happy for her and I'm sorry I didn't understand. That I wish Lester could let us have our friendship back, but I get it. It's all okay now.
I'm still bawling. I don't know why.
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