Haha. I love bukowski. Really, I do.
Loneliness is a terrible burden. There's no permanent cure. It's like herpes... sometimes it goes away, but it's always there under the surface. It's always ready to come back and make you so miserable that you're certain you were never even happy to begin with.
Quite lovely, really.
I'm lonely, and I'm bored. The older I get, the more people disappoint me. I met a girl tonight that mitch was entirely enamored with. She wasn't bad looking, but there was nothing striking about her. But, it wasn't that...it was her personality. The things she said, the way she said them, the way she moved. There was absolutely nothing remarkable about any of it. All of her words and actions were just so completely pedestrian. She seemingly had no opinions, no wit, no mind at all. She just sat there smoking pot and drinking vodka and breathing my air. My air. And all I could think was... how worthless.
How worthless these people are.
It's like all people are movies. And we've made it to the generation of reruns. There's nothing original anymore. Everything has been done to death. All that's left are hollywood versions of personalities...so dummed down and sexed up that there's no shred of anything decent or interesting left.
I'm so lonely. But I hate these people. Sorry excuses for company.
So here I'll sit in a tower of condescension made of smoke rings and empty whiskey bottles. And I'll try to hate myself as much as I hate everyone else.
But I never will. |
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