i talked with my dean today. everything is settled. i have to write a letter for an appeal and then im guaranteed readmission.
anyway. i called colin so i could buy some weed today.
im really hoping he says something about kevin. i need to know if he still likes me or if he was just speaking bulllllshiiiittt because im clearly not capable of taking what guys say to me in the correct way.
i need a cigarette but i only have 2 left.
amanda is coming over soon. ill buy some when i go to the atm. unless colin takes credit cards. that would be cool.
im going to try really really hard to not think about kevin. his girlfriend is gorgeous. there is no way they are breaking up. he just wanted to fuck me and thats what happened. so ok. it doesnt matter what he said. thats the reality.
i feel so fucking fat right now. i should just stop eating.
why do i feel dependent on boys. whyyyy
whatever. i cant help that right nwo. im fucking fragile. i would love to find a guy that is nice. that would be cool
i just have this awful feeling in my stomach. and it happens every time a guy screws with me.
maybe im blowing this out of proportion? i should have expected this from him. i really should have. | 
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