been wanting some raisins for a week now but now that im eatting them they are not good.
Ok day at work i lost like 30 minutes some how the people kept telling me stuff that happened and all i could say was "where was i?" i never left the store. When i was leaving the break room and ran right in to Alan and i dont mean just saw him i pushed him a bit and when he turned around i felt like time stopped and when he said "Bridgett! hows it going?!?" i felt like he was talking really slow i could keep talking to him i had to get away as i was walking away i said i felt sick and like ran to my corner. I got my breathe together and went and got a red bull and was paying for it and he saw me and started talking to me again all nice he asked me if it was my lunch break i told him i had already taken one had to return the gun and ran in to the break room. then later before i left work i went and got a water and he said "bridgett can i get a vitamin water to?" i told him he could with his money he said "i dont got money". Then when i finally got set free i said bye to him and asked him when he got off.
This preg. is making me psycho i swear this morning i was laughing with a stockier boy and the next minute i told him to leave my corner. then later we were talking again and he was really close and i could smell the cigg. smell on him i told him he smelled bad and he walked away. Then later he said "hey ma" just not meaning anything and i about burst in to tears. I only had one spell of needing to throw up, but once i got to the bathroom the feeling went away thankfully. And my brain isnt working right but thats just because im stressed as anything about the next week. I left the preg. test wrapper sitting out in the bathroom last night because i was a little bit freaking out and crying and my brother saw it so its weirdbewteen us well weirder then normal. I need someone to talk to but i have noone i need my sister but i dont think i could handle her reaction i just need help and anthony is no help with "my mother will kill me REAL TALK" he says his lifes fucked up already well mines not to great atleast he can walk away from this with nothing more then a thought. My due date would be christmas day. I decided to give it a name just for myself so when i write in my diary i can use the name and not "the thing" the name is Rylee (boy or girl name) |
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