Ego.
Ive been snappy the past few days i cant explain it its mainly pushed at my family my sister gets yelled at alot. I do feel bad but i can't control it or dont want to.
I want to be happy I want to feel like im good enough to have something more then what i give myself. I put everyone first before anything i think about getting/wanting Each pay check i split in half sometimes more then half and give atleast $140 to Anthony for no reason at all in this month alone Ive given him $600+ i didnt really keep track april/may but its all together close to $1000 and that doesn't include the $475 I paid for the abortion because it would have been a joke to ask him since i gave him 100 that week. blah Some how I still pay my $200 phone bill and $90 rent. I must make damn good money, huh? just think with all that my credit card would have been paid off... ha yea right i would have wasted all the money on junk anyways that's what i do so atleast it went to paying off his school and phone bill and hair cuts and food.
My hands hurt. My job sucks but i love my boys today i was putting stuff in my case and Manny and Patrick were walking up the aisle one of them said "she does have a big butt" the other one said "yea i know!" then i was in my corner before the passed they both looked at me as they passed ha guys... and i was coming outta the meat freezer carring some fish and i was trying to close the door with my hips and manny came to me and said "NOOOO bridgett you dont have to close it i got it " i wish i could make myself talk more i just have no self esteem and feel like i shouldn't speak.
"he walk like this cause he can back it up" |
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