So I think I have sort of figured out my lack of posting on here although I know it is not an excuse. A week or two ago I decided to start a deployment journal. Which I guess more or less is something I write in when the mood strikes me or when I miss Josh just to write about my day and get everything out. Something that if I am comfortable with when he gets home I want him to be able to read, to sort of understand what I went through being pregnant and home alone with no one. I think its a big ordeal for me and to have something that he can sort of look on and try to relate through me through might be good for us too. He really wants to read it when he gets home and I want him to as well but I also know how paranoid I get about people reading all that stuff. He is my husband though. I write it sort of in format to him, I don't want to say letters because in a way I guess they are. Daily or whatever letters that I write. I don't start them with Dear Josh or anything fancy like that I have a counter instead. In the top right hand corner of the page I write on the first line the date, the second how many days til he comes home, and on the third how far along in the pregnancy I am. Then I write it, however long or repetative it may be due to the fact its about him being gone and I miss him daily , and I do sign it at the end. After I write in that sometimes I just don't feel like coming back here and writing more out so I am sorry if I become a bit more sparing in the coming weeks or months. Maybe as I progress in my pregnancy and find more things to write about I will be excited to write here or tell you guys something but as of yet I usually don't have much.
I finally had a day out with my old room mate and that was nice. We went to see the Time Traveler's Wife which I loved and then out to dinner at the Texas Roadhouse. Even after we were done eating we sat there for like an hour and just talked. It is the first time I have been out of the house with someone besides when I went home and it was really nice. But the problem comes in there in that I don't really know anyone around here and honestly I think most days I am clinically depressed not wanting to go anywhere or do anything that sort of thing. I need motivation and if there is no one there I know I probably don't want to go meet new people.
As for baby I suppose we are good. 13 weeks. Probably actually closer to 14 since I am measuring further along. They told me though that until they had measured me further along a few times in a row they weren't going to change the due date again because they had at every appointment so far lol. I had lost ten pounds in a month since my previous appointment from not eating. My face and body has broken out in acne from the hormones and is driving me crazy. But I loved the last ultrasound. It was the first time baby actually moved. I was watching her ( no we don't know the sex yet I just have a predisposition to calling it a her) in like pure amazement because its just so weird to watch. I almost cry too its hard going and seeing them and watching her without Josh there you know. It's hard to make him feel involved from so far away other then sending him the ultrasounds and talking to him after my appointments.
But we have talked about names. I am not in love with any boys names just to be honest. I wanted Landon but he shot that one down right out of the clouds for some reason when a week before he had said he loved it. So now we have Keaton Daniel. As for a girl we have decided we LOVE the name Claire. But said name is one syllable so it is a pain in the arse to find a middle name that sounds good with it as well as our last name. I suggested Amelie and at first he said he loved it til he decided he didn't like the way it was pronounced so he wanted to change it. The correct pronunciation is ah-may-lee..... he wants it ay-muh-lee... I was like no way I hate that. I could do ah-muh-lee if not the original pronunciation but the ay at the beginning sounds retarded so now we have no middle name. If I cannot get him on board with Amelie said the way I want it to be said I think I am leaning towards Annaliese. I really like the old french feeling or old Victorian feeling of Claire Amelie though. And if he doesn't then well we might just have to use Claire as a middle name because in that order it goes with just about every freaking thing. Its so frustrating. But Josh has started calling her Baby Claire. So of course my heart melts and then I am like fine, we won't change the name.... grrrr I dunno! lol
DazzlingDisorder;CSS |
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To be honest, names that can be pronounced differently are going to be pronounced a million different ways by teachers and such. We wanted something different, but easy to pronounce. 
RYC: Thanks dear. I've tried to explain it to them, and to them, it is ONLY acceptable to have a wedding in a Church, and they don't understand in ANY way why we would want to have a wedding outside of a church. They just don't understand that my beliefs are not the same as theirs.
