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Pointless day and maximum confusion | 09/05/2013 |
 * Pointless day and maximum confusion * So Today I am just having a really bad day. I wanted to post on facebook about it but people involved will figure out crap and it will surely become worst. People tell me to help them out and sign them up for a practice with me. I do it even though when I asked for the same favor the week prior i was left in the dust. I decided to be nice which the nature of myself. I am starting to think I need to grow some balls and become a bitch. I need to change myself, because today I went and wasted my time and signed the girl up in my group so she DIDNT have to wait around on campus to sign up. Again I was being nice well apparently without telling me she went to another girl and asked her to sign her up. So the girl was on the sheet two times and I had to remove her from the group. I am just tired of people. If something changes then tell me or have the other girl tell me dont just send me a text because I dont always have my phone on and she knows that. I am Miss Phone Nazi in classes I Have it off and I rarely Check it on my breaks it is just how I am. I am not like others that are addicted to the phone on the hip. Social contact can wait and I check time on a watch not a Phone Screen. What kills me is the girl signing the other one up was 4 people behind me and she couldn't tell me anything. I have just figured out that I cant count on People near me to help me and helping people apparently makes a mess.
Another thing bugging me and this has been bugging me for a while. Lately I have had no real freinds nearby. I just have no one in classes to depend on and I dont have the strong Groups like others do. I really dont understand why I dont have friends like everyone. I talk and try to et along with people hell I even sometimes really bend over backwards to help those in need. Nothing seems to work I cant surround myself with groups to help myself out and study with and defiantly no group to hang out with. I lost my only person to hang with after he Moved back home. I just feel like a hermit with no outlet. I mean yes I could go out alone but what fun is that and how safe is that? I just wish I had people close to me and I wish I knew what is wrong with me I just dont fit in. I am A Dysfunctional Puzzle Piece with no Spot to fit into. I Hate it
Well I guess I will go and Study and relax I have my First Check off tomorrow and I am refusing to let it hinder that I need to Pass this one. Thank you to anyone who reads my Rants and my pitty party...
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I am sorry people are taking advantage of you and not considering you. That's disgusting. Sometimes you really do have to be a bitch and I know for you that is hard because you are a super sweet person. I hate being a bitch, too, but I've learnt that sometimes you have to consider yourself first and take care of you.
