black.rainbow.lyts
Stop the world, I'm getting off.
Note before I start. If I'm missing capitals my shift key keeps sticking and once i start writing i tend to lose track of whats going on. So please forgive me if i miss capital letters. end note
I'm sitting around stressed out by everything still. i'm finally caught up in business law and organizational behavior. i need to do a few missing essays for english and turn them in and then catch up in accounting and then i'll be all caught up. i've been kinda stressed out in my head about things that have nothing to do with school. a few of my friends seem to think i should just give up and except the fact that i'll be working at hardees forever. that fast food will all of a sudden just be my life. They think if I do that I'll just excel within the company and eventually things with be hunky dory. Now most of these so called friends who don't support me going to school never finished high school, or if they did they didn't do anything else with their life. Now I don't care that they haven't done anything, that they've been a hardees drive thru cashier, doing the same thing day in and day out for 15 years. But that's not me. i have no desire to do that. i want to do something with my life. i'm 26 and i could be so much farther in life then i am. but i chose to do things backward according to some ppl i went to school with who now have these awesome jobs but have no family of their own.
I think i've said all of this before. its just bothering me because i thought i had more supportive friends. but i'm finding out lately that i dont have anyone in my life who supports what i do or who i am. I'd have a better chance being accepted as a lesbian then a single mom working and going to school. I feel like an awful person because i can't find friends better then this. I love Lora cause she's supportive no matter what. Miss ya sweetie!! Its crazy when you're so busy and you can't find time for the one person who is always there. its amazing how busy i am.
i did take some time today for me. when Austin got home from school i went outside to play in the dirt. its amazing how stress relieving it can be to dig dirt and plant flowers. I planted pansies since they are one of the few plants that can handle this kind of weather. Its been up and down lately, not really cold but not really hot either. pretty much depends on where you're standing, in the sun or the shade. it felt awesome to be outside, austin played at his sand and water table and then tried to help me.
I'm trying weight watchers online. Its amazing to realize how bad certain things you eat are. i've stopped drinking so much soda and if i do drink soda i've switched to diet. I've cut down on a lot of the carbs i was eating, its hard when its just me because making a sandwich is so quick and easy. I've started cooking and doing other things again. Eating veggies as a snack instead of twinkies or snack cakes. It helps me feel awesome .
this seems like the stupidest entry ever.
|
Loading...