I can't remember the last time I felt so good just talking to someone. How an entire day could be hell and then talking to him for 5 minutes makes everything look brighter. Its stupid, its crazy, it doesn't make any sense yet its what happens. I wake up in the morning thinking about him, I lay awake at night wondering if he'll call just to talk. I really enjoy talking to him, I really haven't laughed so much and so carelessly as when I laugh with him. I feel his worry and his pain, it vibrates through him and it hits me like a brick. The urge to make everything better is overwhelming. His worry becomes my worry, his pain becomes mine. The little things I do, the stupid things make him laugh. The things he says, the way he responds makes me giggle. I don't feel stupid with him. I don't trip over my tongue and sound like an idiot. I've given up the booty calls. No more. Its startin to make me feel cheap just calling a guy and getting laid. Its meaningless and pointless. Even if nothing happens with this guy I am worth more then a booty call. I've told all of the guys that I'm not interested anymore and not to call. Erase my number and move on to someone else. I need more, I deserve more. So why did it take me liking Chris to make me realize this? Why for the first time in forever do I feel so confused about liking someone for something besides sex? Ugh. Its that feeling of being lost in a see through box, you can see what you want but for some reason you just can't reach it!! |
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