Note....I typed this on myspace so the reference to the blog looking different is from there.
So I'm thinking this blog thing is different because well it just looks different. And you know when things look different you've either had too much to drink or they are different. Personally all I've had to drink is lemonade so they must be different. I hate logging into yahoo messenger sometimes, because then people who log on and off make this spastic repeat message thing go on in the corner of my screen and it makes me want to scream at it to stay still long enough for me to read how is doing what. My other point of annoyance...if you text someone you obviously did it for a reason, whether you're bored or you just want to annoy them, don't just like text me and then keep answering me with one word texts. That annoys me. Cause I'm like why did you text me? I'm sure it wasn't just cause you wanted to see if I was still coherent after all that lemonade. Ok pet peeve that annoys me. Yes I may not get mad but I do get annoyed. I call you and you're not home. So I just say can you tell Him that Shari called and she's like I sure will. So hours and hours later he sends me a message on Myspace and he's like mom said you called. And here I am staring at my computer screen wondering when it became a telephone. If I call its always nice to call me back. If I just leave you a message on myspace that means I'm thinking about you but you're not really someone I want to conversate with. Then he starts telling me about his chair issue and I start fucking with him. I'm like making this chair issue the reason for everything, because like I just can't resist. He says he'll try to call more...I'm like well I don't care if you call or anything, like I didn't ask her to have you call me or anything. Then he's like did you find that cord, and I was like oh you mean I was supposed to remember something and he was like I know its hard but yea. To this I reply maybe next time you'll CALL and remind me. That man meaning my boyfriend is allergic to the phone. Unless he has a reason he doesn't call me or just message me for no reason. He'd probably cut his arm all the way off and already released from the hospital before he'd pick up the phone to let me know he got a little scratch. I love this man to death, I'd keep him around no matter what. But I know in my heart that he's going to leave eventually. Isn't that horrible that I can just feel that. He might prove me wrong and be around forever, but I'd have to be on my death bed practically shocked because he's still there. He's great, and he's come really far in the few months we've known each other and we actually see each other a few times a week now. He's skittish, bad. And when things get serious, sometimes he just runs. We end up talking it out but he's bad for just leaving without solving anything. We had words one day last week and I sped off in my car, thinking the whole time that I'm just going to wait him out, let him come to me. But I knew in my heart he wouldn't. His pride would get in the way and he'd try to wait me out and it would be over. So I did a u-turn and headed back to his place. We talked, it was good to finally find out what the problem was, but it shouldn't come to almost the end before he finally starts talking to me. He started out with you just don't understand...and I wanted to say how the heck am I supposed to understand something you won't tell me??? We're ok right now, Austin loves him to death and he loves Austin. He doesn't think he'd make a good parent but he doesn't see what I see. He doesn't see the look on his face when Austin takes him by the thumb and drags him down the hall. He doesn't see the joy in his face when he's tickling Austin and Austin's giggling like crazy. The three of us wrestling around, Austin climbing up on his back. Mike's bedroom at his mom's place was like a deathtrap for a 2 yr old, no joke. So many things to get hurt on. Would you believe after we'd been there and I said I couldn't take Austin in there, he cleaned up his room, put up anything that Austin could get hurt on. Lol I'm sure next time we come to visit he'll bubble wrap his PS3 just for safety. He'd make a great dad, that's just something he'll never see and I think in the end, he'll use Austin as the reason why he can't hang around. Maybe I'm wrong, I want to be wrong more then you know but sometimes in life you just have to accept that things happen for a reason, take things one day at a time and refuse to regret anything no matter how much it hurts. |
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