I am so goofy its crazy. I've never been this happy. Even when Ken and I first got together I still wasn't this happy. But wow Mike is perfect, I love it. Austin loves him, and he's got Mike wrapped around his little finger. Its so cute to see them together. Mike has it in his head that he wouldn't be a very good parent...which I don't believe at all but its ok cause Austin already has a dad ya know. He's working through a lot of problems he's having, which is a good thing, I just wish he would talk to me about them. He keeps saying that in time he'll tell me, and if you know me, you know its driving me fucking insane not knowing whats going on in his head. But I've been taking a few steps back and not pushing on it. Ok I may have tried once or twice to figure out what it is but he's not ready so I can handle that, I think. I think mainly I'm just really happy to be with someone who makes me feel really good. He's scrawny (lol he's gonna kill me for this) and all marshmellowy. He acts all tough but I know inside he'd be there for me no matter what. His hugs and kisses mean the world to me and the sex sends me sky high. He's not scared of anything, and somehow he manages to keep me calm and sane even when I'm ready to quit my job and say fuck it. I see him, he smiles at me and my stomach does this lil flip flop thing and my world just starts to shine really bright. I sound all crazy and shit but now that we've realized we're gonna argue about how often we see each other, I'm going to want him around all the time and he's going to want his space, no reason to break up everytime we disagree over it. Plus I've learned if he hasn't had sleep for 24 hours its not a good idea to bring up anything meaningful and if he's just woken up if I want him to comprehend something I need to wait until he's fully awake and had some coffee or something. I've also realized that he's not going to coddle me, he's gonna tell me the truth, he keeps his word too. He's a gentlemen, pumps his own damn gas without expecting me to (ken's stupidass), offers to carry stuff for me. But he also realizes I'm an extremely independent woman, I can carry my own bookbag (unless I'm sunburned all to hell like right now), I take my own garbage out, pay my own bills, take care of my child and I don't expect him to do anything except be here. He's held my purse for me, wore pink ear plugs and held Austin's hand in public without getting all weird. I'm telling you, he's great. He doesn't need me to kiss his booboos, doesn't whine every 2 seconds that something hurts, doesn't expect me to baby him at all. Which I absolutely love. Shut up I'm gushing I know it. Did I mention that the sex is earth shattering??? So let's see, he came over friday night. I was spotting again, ick like wtf is that about?? But anyway, he stayed for a long time that night, we pretty much just played with Austin and watched tv. Then we rolled around on the bed tickling Austin and just having a great time. Then Austin went to bed and it was our time. We did have sex, I was only spotting. I love the cuddling, we do that a lot. I love when he holds me, I shiver with excitement everytime he touches me, it feels so good to be with someone that makes me feel so good. I spent Saturday at work and then with Austin. Sunday was the Martinsville nascar race. We left mad early, at like 9am. Of course we argued over the directions...because I know how to get to Martinsville, and he's read every map possible (how could I be right??). He apologized for yelling at me which was sweet. I don't like being yelled at, reminds me of Ken's stupidass. Plus I was right anyway so duh! I wasn't about to get lost when we were going to the race. So we get there and park really far away. So we walk like up a hill and down a hill, and through some woods, then up this steep ass hill...and its funny as hell when I'm picking my way up the hill so I don't fall and he refuses to wait for me at the top lol it was sweet. So of course my ass is winded, I mean come up thats a hell of a fucking hike and he's not even breathing slightly heavy, but he's all like are you alright and I'm wanting to hit him. But its ok, we make it there, finally find where we are supposed to go in. We use the bathroom, find our seats and get comfy. I've never seen someone so excited to be somewhere. I mean like the look on his face all day was pure pleasure, lol he said the most pleasure you can have with your clothes on. He's a gearhead, loves anything with cars and what not. We had a great time, then the hellish walk back to the truck but he was sweet about it. I had to tell his ass to slow down a couple of times but it wasn't anything major. We were exhausted, so we talked a little on the way home, he dropped me off at mom's to get Austin and then he went home. I got a sunburn from hell. I still don't have my car back, so he picked me up from school the next day. And I was hurting so bad he picked me up early and then stayed with me for a little while. We just chilled on the couch watching TV, I was hurting so bad. Right after he left work called and asked me to come in, he had just made it to the light in town and he's so sweet cause he came right back to pick me up and dropped me off at work. Then this morning I was having a hellish day at work, I was ready to kill Sherry the assistant manager and even though what he said wasn't really calming since he tells things how they are and doesn't coddle me, just talking to him made me feel better. I got off the phone with him and actually managed to get through the rest of the day without killing her. It made me so mad, she took a 30 minute bathroom break, came back fixed herself some food and then went out to take a break. She went out there 15 minutes before I did, and I still came back from break before her. Makes me so damn mad, I wish I could mess around as much as she does. She spends more time on her cell phone or in the back talking to whoever instead of working. And she always manages to disappear when we need her the most. Ugh!! Oh well. So I had an orientation to do tonight, and then Ken picked me up and dropped both Austin and I off at my place. He's such a prick. He seems to think his shit doesn't stink and that its all my fault he can't get any. He blames me for shit that has nothign to do with me. He's fucking pathetic. I'm sorry that I'm finally happy and he's fucking miserable, serves his stupidass right for spending 7 months with a married woman! But anyway, thats how things have been going.
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