I give the fuck up
I can't handle this shit anymore. I'm about to pull my fucking hair out and then I'm going to quit and hide under a fucking rock. I'm failing English and Organizational Behavior because I just can't keep up with everything. I spent all day yesterday cleaning and trying to make this house back into a house and not a dumpster. I needed to do homework, but all I ever do is homework which is why the housework doesn't get done. I never fail classes. I've been mostly an A student all through school and into college. It's been hell though. Trying to juggle Austin and take care of everything he needs. Mom signed him up for swimming lessons which he needs but I have to take him every Wednesday afternoon after college so I can't even work that day. Then it feels like all I ever do it work on something, whether its at my job or at home, if I relax for one night I get 3 days behind on everything. I am losing patience with having my ex around. I'm going to end up fucking him up eventually and then we'll both be in jail. I can't handle this shit anymore. Its more aggravation then its worth anymore.
They put Austin on focalin, I can't tell if its working. He's no different behavior wise. He's wide open today, even more so then normal. He was yesterday too. Not really sure how long it'll take before it starts working. She did mention it might not be enough to help any. Its been really crazy with him lately. He can't focus on anything, and when he does focus he gets extremely angry over everything that interrupts him. I gave up this morning, fed him and stuck him in front of the TV. Call me an awful parent, I just don't give a shit. I need to get some homework done and I still need to tackle the bathrooms. So I'm going to let him watch Bob the Builder and whatever else to his heart's content. If it was warmer I'd just stick him out on the porch with the sand toys and table and let him go at it. But its only 50 degrees outside.
This entry was stupid and pointless. I need to update on the bullshit that's going on at work but I don't feel like it right now.
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