I'm being a mushy ass but you know I'm entitled. Yes I posted a picture of the bunny Michael gave me on myspace and facebook, I got a lot of ribbing about that. When did I go soft? Duh I've always been soft, I just don't think I've had an occasion to really show it. lol. Let's start at the beginning because i can already see Jen going wtf??? We were supposed to be picking up my transmission yesterday. i called and talked to matlocks and they said it would be ready about 3pm, so i sent Michael a message saying it would be ready about 3pm. But he didn't hook his labtop up after playing his PS3 so he didn't get my message. So he showed up about 12:30/1pm. I was super excited to see him, I really really was because I hadn't planned on seeing him until later so him just being there was fucking great. So he said he got me something...and it was the cutest lil bunny ever and when you squeeze the paw it makes a noise (ok i think it quacks but i'm not going to look like a moron and be like is it quacking?). But that little bunny meant soooo much to me. Because like I don't want big gifts, I don't really need any gifts, just him being here is enough but that bunny means the world to me. It had a nice place of honor next to my pillow last night. Anyway so we sat around until 3pm, talking, watching tv, playing with Austin. I think its great that Austin likes Michael. But then Michael has been the only guy to take the right approach with him. He doesn't get in Austin's face and try to make an impression on him, he waited for Austin to come to him and then they went from there. A sure sign of Austin liking someone is when he sits on your foot, I don't know why, but it just is. And he did that yesterday, I nearly cheered. Now Austin has already nailed him in the balls, which I personally thought was hilarious but it was also an accident and even though he was in pain he didn't lash out or anything. If he had I'd have nailed his balls to the wall but thats just me. I like how he doesn't interfer when I'm telling austin no or yelling at him for something he knows he's not allowed to do. That makes keeping him around ten times easier lol. So anyway I took Austin to moms because she wanted him last night since she doesnt see him as much as she used too and left her car with her. Then Mike and I went down to Matlocks, but my transmission wasn't ready so they said they'd drop it off at Russell's when it was ready. When I called in the beginning they were gonna charge me to deliver it but i guess cause they didn't have it ready when they said they would and we drove down there they just offered to do it. Which was sweet and left me more time to spend with him. We went to Hardees to grab something to eat (his tummy was making noises even if he says it wasn't...i'm not deaf) and he got to meet Sherry. Well actually it was more like Sherry came out to check him out since you know she never gets to meet the guys I date. For me to introduce him to my friends and take him to Hardees he's got to be pretty special. And he really is special to me. Well we ate and then Jennifer was getting off and said she was going to come out and eat with us but we were leaving. And he was so sweet, he's like we're not in a hurry. Which is really cool because most of the guys i've dated didn't want anything to do with my friends, and for him to want to sit there and talk shit with me and Jennifer was super. So we sat there for close to forever just talking and having a great time. Its hard to explain how amazing I felt to be happy. To not sit there and wish I had someone that really liked me. I admit he's taught me a lot in the short amount of time we've known each other. Patience is one thing. And where i've always thought i had to have sex, yesterday i didn't have to have it. I felt that just being with him was enough. Being with him isn't about having sex, it isn't about just getting off for him either. Its about being with each other. I'm learning to take it one day at a time, and not to jump to conclusions, not to read anything into what he says or does. Because whatever he's thinking he's going to tell me. If i want to say something or ask something i just need to do it, and not dance around it for fear of hurting his feelings. he's made of more then ken ever was. He doesn't need me to kiss his booboos and tell him he's going to be ok, i'm not his mother and it feels good not to have to be. After we left Hardees, he dropped me off, walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye. It was so sweet and I just about melted. He makes me feel good but at the same time I can be me. I'm still my own person, and I don't have to ask if I can do something or go somewhere. He doesn't tell me what to do and doesn't expect me to ask for permission. He knows i have school and work and Austin and none of that bothers him. I admit to having trouble adjusting to someone who is totally different from Ken. That I was being clingy and suspicious thinking that him not wanting sex all the time, him not being with me all the time meant he didn't want me, that he was seeing someone else on the side and I was starting to act like an idiot to get his attention. But he told me exactly how it was, that if he didn't want me he wouldn't come around at all, he wouldn't talk to me at all. He can't handle clingy girls but at the same time i can't handle clingy guys either and he's not clingy. Told me to stop being stupid just to get his attention because I've obviously already got it and if I want to talk to him just to let him know that i want to talk. It feels good not having to play games with him, not having to dance to some tune that can only be heard in some guys head.
Let's see we hooked up February 28th, which doesn't include that weird time before that where we had sex and spent V-day together cause that was just dysfunctional. So technically we've been together 2 weeks today and I'm already doing that whole gaga thing. I'm lame. Its ok though, we're doing this one day at a time, so if I want to be goofy over him I can be. We've known each other for a little over a month. We'll see what happens...one day at a time. He's coming over Friday, Jennifer and her husband are coming too, I'm not sure who else if anyone. I know this will perk the ears of some of my friends. I woke up happy. Now I wasn't really happy about being up so early and I was annoyed with austin for being extremely fussy but I just couldn't stop being happy. Inside it was like I was glowing. It feels really good to be happy. I'm going to enjoy this and NOT fuck it up by being stupid.
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