I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you everyday...

01/01/2010

So I haven't updated in forever it seems. It was a longgggggggggg day at work but I'm definately glad I'm off tomorrow. So much has happened. Let's see we finally got moved into the new place. Its a cute 3 bedroom trailer that the owners redid, and it has 2 full bathrooms. It's the first time in a long time that I've had a backdoor and a frontdoor, a porch and even a yard. I love having a yard for Austin to play in without little hellions from different apartments trying to take his toys. We put up a pool for him, which has been fun until he constantly throws grass and dirt into it. That's so annoying. Everything isn't unpacked, we still have tons of boxes to sort out. I finally hung a few things on the walls so it wouldn't look so empty anymore. My mom is letting me make payments on her old washer and dryer which were technically brand new since they came with her new trailer they just bought. Its just a standard washer, it doesn't have a gentle cycle, soak or handwash. My mom is super picky and she likes everything to match. So she couldn't just buy a washer, she had to buy a washer and dryer. So instead of just selling her's to someone else she's letting me make payments. She also paid for the air conditioner and the law mower, stuff I was working on saving for, but her motto is she can buy it and I can pay her. But when it comes time for me to give her money she's always like, aren't you going to need that for something? Do you have food in the house? Which of course we don't since now we make way too much money for food stamps because Austin gets disability. But here's the thing, when Austin got his money my rent at the apartment went up to 416 a month. So moving to a bigger place with a yard for 500 wasn't much of a stretch. So not only do we have rent, electric, water, phone and netflix to pay I also pay for food and everything Austin needs, since his dad doesn't pay childsupport. I'm a fast food manager, I barely make over minimum wage, I'm lucky if I get 35 hours a week. So yea we did depend on food stamps. But we don't throw money away, we don't eat out a dozen times a month. We don't spend lots of money on movies and going out, we don't go out. Don't hate on me because of it, I work my ass off for the little bit of money I do make. Ok anyway back to the updating thing. They diagnosed Austin adhd on top of being Autistic. They say that's very common in some percentage of autistic kids, she kept spitting out percents and numbers. All I could think was my kid isn't just a number ya know, but I didn't say anything. I just listened and waited for my chance to talk. I told her about his aggressiveness getting worse and that he doesn't listen at all. How many times I've had to just walk out of walmart because he's causing such a scene I'm waiting for someone to call child services and say I'm killing him. The entire time she just nods and then says well there isn't much we can do about that. WTF??? So much for help there right. So she wants to medicate him. For real? Again? We tried this before and my kid became a zombie from one of those crazy movies you see, just walking around listlessly looking for something or maybe nothing. You never can tell. But I'm like well what would you like to try. She's like we can put him on ritalin. I was like he's 3!!!! I've seen so many things about it, known so many people that were on it. No way. I wouldn't even listen, I didn't think my brain could process it. So we're trying Dextroamphetamine, which is just a milder form of ritalin but they claim its no where near as bad as ritalin's reputation makes it out to be. Did you follow that? lol. It has calmed him down, he's actually starting to talk a whole lot better then he was. Thank goodness. I'm still technically single. Its like I've got a handful of guys just kinda hanging on the edges but I have no interest in getting serious. Cliff is still living here with me, and for now that works for us. We are just coexisting I guess. We turn to each other when things get bad but we really don't get along most of the time. I've been having major bi-polar moments. Not because I'm trying to be a bitch but because I go through this when I'm stressed. When things get really bad around me I start to freak out inside. Its like an internal fight between 2 people. One wants to say fuck it all and the other is determined to get through the storm. So its kinda neck and neck on most days. But when things are really bad I tend to lash out. Which really isn't a good thing. I'm trying to keep it in check but every once in a while I end up snapping Cliff's head off and then the fighting begins. School begins again on the 23rd, that means work, school and Austin will be taking up every moment of my life. Golly how many hours are in a day? Trust me not nearly enough. I'm taking 5 classes (omg) on top of working full time. Kinda cutting my own throat I think but I'll manage. I'm taking business law, intro to business, spanish 101, computerized accounting and computer applications in business. 4 online and one in class. I'll be fine, just need to get back into the swing of prioritizing my time. Well sorry this is so long, it felt so good to finally sit down and make an entry. I've been so busy or someone is always looking over my shoulder.