So I haven't written because every time I think about it I start to feel icky cause I have to think about all the bullshit going on right now. I'm tired of being the girl that is the stand in. The one that guys hang out with and date until they find someone who they think it up to their standards. Even if that person is a complete bitch. I'm tired of being the nice girl, why do I let myself go through this bullshit?? How do you spend every night hanging out with a girl and then tell her you don't want to rush into anything and that you don't want to lead her on? Then you keep wanting to hang out but you run so fucking hot and cold that she doesn't know which side is up. So now I'm staring at myself in the mirror everyday wondering wtf is wvrong with me that I'm not considered good enough. I've got this major self esteem issue going on. I'll have to write more later, cats are wanting attention.
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