I'm just tired of everything. Sick of looking in the mirror and seeing my fat ass. I'm tired of walking through my house a mess with a stupid piece of shit boyfriend who doesn't do anything. He doesn't work. He doesn't do anything and I'm getting sick of it. I want to be single again. I just want to be alone. I'm tired of having someone here that bitches at me because I'm not helping him clean the house. Really because working 30-35 hours a week and taking five college classes doesn't mean anything. I'm not actually doing anything that he can see so I'm not doing anything. But he can sit around, play ps3 and watch tv all day without cleaning or doing anything else and that's ok. If I say anything I'm a bitch. If I don't say anything I just start to burn up inside at the stupidity. I have been eating everything in sight to keep from fighting with him. Every time i get mad I just go and eat something so we won't argue. So instead of this diet being successful its failing miserably because I'm terribly unhappy. I'm not blaming him for me eating everything. I'm blaming myself for not having the fucking control to deal with issues a different way. Where do I put my temper when I use food to distract me. I'm not suicidal, I'm just depressed. |
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