Well its been forever since I made an entry. There has been so much going on. Josh has been in and out of rehab and different things have been happening there. In all honesty its just really hard to explain all of that. We've broken up and gotten back together so many times that I've lost count. Right now the biggest issue is that I've put my life on hold, done so many different things for Josh and yet he still continues to put me like 4th in his life. And he's 1st 2nd and 3rd in his life just in case you're wondering. I've tried to help, tried to be there, done everything I can and yet I'm getting my feelings hurt because he doesn't think about me at all. He only thinks about himself and when things go bad he looks to me to help him fix them yet he can't take one day to make me feel special. Gawd I'm just so tired of getting my feelings hurt by him. Its obvious that he has no idea what he wants. I asked him to figure it out in the next month because I can't keep doing this with him treating me like I'm not important. It hurts a lot more then you would think.