Ok so I put on a skirt and a pretty shirt and a nice pair of shoes today. OMG yes I do own all of those things. Jeans and t shirts are not my only wardrobe. I put these on because I wanted to feel pretty, I wanted to look pretty. Its just me and Austin. He doesn't care what I wear and if he had an option he'd just go naked so clothes don't mean shit to a 2 yr old. But I wanted to feel pretty and beautiful. Big mistake. Because i don't feel pretty and beautiful, I feel stupid and fat and ugly. I did take a picture or two but I was like what's the point I don't feel pretty. I don't even think i look pretty. So i deleted the pictures and said fuck it. I'm not pretty, i'm not overly feminine, I'm not sexy, I'm not girly! i can put on a pair of heels...we're talking like 2 inches maybe and i fucking wobble. How am i supposed to get a guy to realize I'm not just fuckable, I'm dateable. I've even told a few guys who just want sex that I want more then that with someone and they bailed. I knew they would. I've been told over and over that I'm fuckable but I'm not dating material. And the ones who do date me lie and cheat on me. I'm so tired of it. I hate myself today!
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