I've got a lot to say. I really do. I just can't seem to remember much of what it was. I'm starting to feel a little bit better health wise. I worked my ass off again today, it seems to be something I do every time I walk into that door. Yes I actually do work when I go to work, I don't really enjoy it but I am not one of those people who can just stand around. I'm starting to feel like I'm falling apart inside. Mentally I'm not very stable right now. I feel extremely shaky at times. I'm having a hell of a time staying focused and I'm having a hard time staying awake right now. I've changed my layout a little bit. I know this is probably very hard to follow at the moment, I've been up like 20 hours and I'm really tired but I'm so sad at the same time. Why are all my friends and co-workers having babies, getting pregnant or getting married?? Why are they all walking around sickeningly happy and doing their best to make me uber happy when I'm pretty much falling apart??? I can't afford another child, I'm not even in a relationship where one is plausible but yet seeing these little babies makes my arms ache for another baby. Austin was so cute holding one of our friend's little girls. He kissed her on the head and told her he loves her. Oh I'm just so blah right now. Help me!!! Ok I'm going to sleep, I'm starting to sound psycho inside my head. Ick sleep is def necessary
black.rainbow.lyts
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