sometimes, you know
(of course, you don't know
i can't tell you this)
i resent niamh.
what is there to resent?
i know.
so sweet and happy
and just a child-
of course-
just a child...
but fuck it, look at us,
like middle-aged parents
instead of two schoolgirls.
we are children too...
should be painting our nails,
giggling over boys,
exchanging pointless secrets,
gossiping at sleepovers
(even fucking wearing pink)-
did you forget?
was it ever there for you to remember-
the concept of childhood,
fun?
and of course i can't tell you this-
any of this-
because there is so much good.
you're the sister i never had.
we are like one-
or we were
until i realised there is so much more of me
and i have nowhere to put it
and yet,
even though we are as sisters,
niamh is
your sister
not mine.
i'm sorry
i can't feel the same way.
i can't say this
of course
but there it is,
hanging in the air.
we are not quite as one.
we grow
in separate ways.
yet
so many shared memories...
i'm sorry. |
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