who has money problems?

09/28/2010

I love my life group. I do. Well, I haven't decided about the brand new couples yet, but that's beside the point.

I hate talking about money troubles with them. Two couples recently bought houses. Two of the girls recently quit their jobs, one of them to stay home and the other to go to school. One of the couples last night was talking about debt that they racked up in college from partying that they are still paying off, and then mentioned how she once spent $400 (!!!!) on a pair of jeans. And she learned during the discussion that for a while he was spending $30 a week on scratchers tickets, and she said "Do you know what that $30 could have bought me? That's like a pair of jeans a month!! And one of the other couples just bought a new puppy from a breeder.

My husband and I live in a one bedroom apartment that could nearly fit in one of the couples' living room and dining area. And I think that says more about the size of our apartment than the size of their house, though they have a beautiful, roomy house. I want to quit my job and go back to school so badly that I'm surprised I'm not dreaming at night of quitting my job. I got four new pairs of jeans a year ago or more, for about $15 each, from Academy because they were on sale. I haven't bought another pair of jeans since then. I wouldn't bring a pet into this tiny house, even if we could, and of course we don't have our own yard for an outside animal. We certainly couldn't afford from a breeder right now, and it would definitely be an adjustment to start paying for pet food and other supplies. We have a lot of debt to pay off, half of which is from schooling, and the rest is divided between bad decisions, groceries, and things we needed and couldn't pay for, like dental work and the like.

I get it that we got to where we are for a reason. If we had been wiser and more careful, our debt situation probably wouldn't be so bad as it is. We are on the way up, finally, and slowly getting to a better place financially. I feel blessed even now, when I really let myself think about how good we have it and I know it will be even better later. I know that things could be so much worse. But I get so frustrated when I hear about ANOTHER trip out of state just for the fun of it or see another big purchase or get the invite to the expensive restaurant for a party.

I get it. Maybe they don't realize just where we are. I know they knew it was awful before hubby started working, but maybe they figure we're just fine now. I don't know. But it is still tight. It has always been financially uncomfortable for us, as long as we've been married, and really for my whole life. I would have never dreamed of spending $50 on a pair of jeans. When I got jeans, they were either hand-me-downs, yard sale jeans, or $10-$15 jeans from Wal-Mart. And those were when I needed them, not when I wanted them.

I'm just hoping that when we finally come to that place of being financially secure and being able to do what we want, we'll be able to remember how to be sensitive to those people we spend time with that are not in that same place we are.

Maybe I'm just overly sensitive about these things. I don't know. What do you think about it?