So this is a hard decision, not for me... | 03/29/2010 |
you can knock my lights out, but I'll still shine
I'm ending things with Ricky.
I have to. I talked it over with some friends, and my mom. It has to be done.
He's grown, entirelly too attached to me, in a week. He's already told me he loves me, and calls me the best thing that's ever happened in his life. and he is...idk weird... all he talks about is food, and death >_________>
"I'll probably die in a really bad car accident, one day."
"Well, that's... not good? Let's change the subject."
"Well, it's true. But it's death, it affects everyone."
Then 2 minutes later.
"Patrammmiiiiii"
"....what?""
"I want some..."
"Oh....kay?"
Let me run yesterday by you guys.
On Saturday night, I had gone out with the warehouse guys, my manager and one of the sales girls Bethann to the Copperhead Bar to go watch UFC. I didn't get home until 1 am, didn't fall asleep until 2 am. Then Sunday morning, Chuckie just SHOWED up at my house.... an hour and a half early.. I was still SLEEPING. We weren't supposed to leave until 9-9:30 for the Tattoo Convention. And he showed up at 8, texted me at 7:30 saying 'heading over to your mom's now"
Then again around 7:45 "I'm here."
Are you kidding me? Don't just SHOW UP at my fucking house and not give me time to get ready.
"I thought we were leaving around 9?"
"Well, I woke up earlier."
"Well, I just freakin' woke up."
"Oops."
Yeah, I'll OOPS you, right in the fucking ballsack >:|
I was so cranky. Not even lying. Then we went to this cafe for breakfast, barely talking...just SAT THERE. and we had fucking 3 hours to kill since the convention didn't even start until 12. SO WE WALKED. FOR 3 HOURS. We didn't hold hands, I didn't kiss him or hug him. Then when the convention actually STARTED, it was fucking lame. I was tempted to find a nice sexy tattoo'd boy and have him rescue me away. For real, I was looking and making up impossible scenarios in my head. I made up some bullshit excuse to go home early and not have him stay. "My mom wants me home by 6. She needs to talk to me."
//1 hour later.
"CHANGE OF PLANS, MY MOM WANTS ME HOME BY 3."
cus at that point... I had completely lost interest, and was about to snap at him for being so annoying. He follows me like a fucking puppy. Kept talking about FOOOD. I was like 'for real?"
So we left the convention, and I pretended to fall asleep in the car.... >_______> and was texting, Sara, Katie, Jinx and Jes. About how horrible my day was going...
So he dropped me off around 2, and I was like "I don't feel good, I don't wanna kiss you."
And right before then he was like "do you still wanna see 'how to train a dragon?" and I was like "not today."
So I hugged him and left.
Been barely talking to him since I told him I was sleeping. I'm just, not into this relationship, at all.
One, he lives too far away.
Two, he works too much for us to see each other, I do too. 6 days a week.
Three, He's way too innocent, for my own good. Me and virgins don't mix. at all.
Four, He's younger than me. I don't like younger guys to begin with.
Five, He's too needy, since he was so depressed before. I'm not used to having a guy need me so bad.
Six, All he talks about is death and food.
Seven, he reminds me of Tom and Jared in so many ways. NOT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN.
Eight, He gets really annoying, really quick.
Nine, it's awkward when I see him, alone.
Ten, We barely talk when we hang out.
Eleven, He's too sensitive... he's a cryer.
Twelve. I feel like I have to be extremely careful around him, so I don't corrupt the boy.
And way more to list.
Am I being too selfish because I feel this way?
I mean, I feel what I feel, I can't help it. It's just not working out in my opinion.
And I talked to my mom about it, she thinks he's .... "different"
and by "different" she meant like, retarded.
So. I'm not gonna date a guy my mom doesn't like.
Let me hear your advice, pleaseee.
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