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It's been a long time!
by ~Just the 3 of Us~

previous entry: I don't even know where to begin

next entry: New Year....

I am at my wits end

11/29/2012

Since when is K4 so difficult???





I really thought that I would not have to deal with situations like this until Henry was at least 16 years old. Henry started K4 in September and things seemed to be going well. And then it all went to hell! My son has been kicked out of school 3 times already. He was "asked not to come back" tomorrow. Apparently, if this happens one more time, he could be kicked out of K4 permanently. I realize that K4 is not required. However, is kicking him out the answer? I realize that the K4 teacher is not a glorified baby sitter, nor do I expect her to be. At the same time, kicking him out constantly is only giving him the impression that he can act out whenever he is not interested in being in school because he knows he'll be sent home. My son is smarter than the average bear (hey boo boo! lol). At the same time, I understand his teacher has 34 other kids and needs to keep control over the class and she does run a tight ship. I've already had one additional meeting with her outside the traditional conference to discuss his behavior and come up with some solutions. Henry ended up being really good for about a week and a half...until today.



He had a horrible day all day. Yesterday, he was as good as gold. He even behaved really well at daddy's, but this morning he "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" and carried it through the entire day. When we ask him what is going on, his answer is he doesn't know. We have noticed that he sometimes becomes a follower of other "badly behaved kids" and we've been working with him on how to be a leader. But I am at my wits end with the attitude, rudeness, talking back and general lack of listening to anything he is told to do or not do. I realize he is only 4.5 but I have seen other kids his age behaving just fine. I am somewhat concerned that he is getting mixed signals between our house and daddy's house as to what is appropriate behavior. In our house, there are serious consequences for this type of behavior. He loses TV/Netflix privileges, leapfrog, Wii and generally anything fun. He is allowed to read a book, eat dinner and go to bed. Tonight, I put him to bed an hour early (at 7pm). I don't know if he's not getting enough sleep or what the deal is. I do hate that he has no place to call his own at daddy's (my ex lives in a one bedroom apt with the ho!). He sleep at the foot of their bed, on an air mattress, like a dog. I don't like it. I realize it bothers my ex but if he really wanted to put his son first he'd stop wasting money on volleyball and alcohol and put that money towards getting a bigger apt. Or make the ho get a fucking job for pete's sake. He can't afford to support 3 people on what he makes but he does nothing about (which irritates me greatly).



I just don't know what to do anymore. We have to get this resolved before I put him in parochial school for regular kindergarten. He's intelligent enough to handle K4 but he obviously has some emotional/social issues. And, of course, Jacob worries that it's because he's here...but I feel that the issues would still be occurring even if he wasn't here. Jacob will be starting a job soon though so he will no longer be able to be "daddy daycare" if this comes up again. And I don't want Henry staying with the ho all day and it's frustrating to have to pay for daycare when he should be in school. So, you can understand my frustration!



On a brighter note, Jacob had a great interview today with Radio Shack. I'm so excited for him as he has a meeting next week to speak with the general manager about a team lead job where he would handle two stores. It's a salaried position making as much as I do now! I hope he gets it! On my interview front, I had a 4th interview with a great company and apparently it's down to me and one other candidate. They are more concerned about finding the right fit for their culture and I truly believe that I fit in well. Unfortunately, I don't know what type of person the other candidate is. But, I should hear back on this position by the end of the week. If I get it, I will put my notice into work on Monday and set my last day as 12/14. I actually have a PTO day on 12/14 (last one of the year) since graduation is the 15th and I have graduation activities to attend on Friday so my last actual day of work in the office would be the 13th. So, I would start the new job on 12/17...happy graduation to me! Please keep your fingers crossed that I get good news by the end of the week.



On a completely unrelated note, I have some news. My dear bloop friends know that I am not getting any younger. I have always wanted to give Henry a sibling to grow up with because I want him to always have someone in his life to depend on. So, Jacob and I have decided to start trying in January. I will have the IUD taken out and let nature take its course. Don't get me wrong, we are not going to break our backs trying (although trying is the fun part lol) but we won't be inhibiting it in any way. I don't even know if I could get pregnant again to be honest. I will be 43 in April...I am no spring chicken. Yes, women my age have kids all the time, but the risks are much greater. I am aware of this and Jacob is aware that this may not work at all. He is open to the possibility of us being pregnant as well as it not working and he will be happy with either situation. I also realize that we have only been "together" since 9/3 but remember, we had been talking online/phone for 2-3 months prior, so it's more like we've been together for 5-6 months. Because of my age, we can't wait until the time we may decide to get married, nor can we wait for me to finish my MBA. I do know that my college (an all girl's college) is extremely flexible when it comes to women being pregnant as I have witnessed at least 3 times during the last 4 years. So, whatever happens, I'll still be able to continue my schooling. So, that is the most recent change going on in our lives. Sorry baby...I did not ask you if it was ok to talk about this....I hope it's ok! <3



Love,

Carol




Daisypath Graduation tickers



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He sounds a lot like Hayden...I have been through this for years...I have tried everything. one thing that did help was putting her in summer camp and aftercare for her socialization. She learned alot there and has come far with her skills. Honestly nothing has helped her behavior issues, that is why we have gone through the testing needed. She was diagnosed with opositional/defiant disorder and will be receiveing conflict solving therapy. I did so much with Hayden...for Hayden, we went through every avenue I could find from putting her to bed early to positive behavior reinforcement to love and logic to discipline to etc...this began when she was three. She is going to be eight. Don't wait thinking it's something you can do or need to stop doing. Get help.

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

let's do this backwards... congrats and good luck.
As for your son...I dont know your x or his lady friend, but it cant be easy for him to be going back-forth with different rules in the dif places. and...34 kids in a classroom? yikes! that sounds like waaaay toooo many. Anywho, if you think he needs help, get him help. earlier the better. And you are an amazing woman, juggling all these hats.

[A RedSox Fan|0 likes] [|reply]

Children often act out because they don't always have the verbal skills to express what they are feeling, and most of the time they really DON'T know what they are feeling or why they do what they do. He's had a big change in his life in the past few months and even tho he loves J, it's a big deal and he doesn't even realize it. And if he's heard talk of a baby, or witnessed conflict between you and your mom or his dad....his body has to get that stress out and just doesn't know an appropriarpte way to do it. I agree with Kimberly, you may need to get some outside help.Xoxo

[*Stealth Bombshell*|0 likes] [|reply]

I love you babydoll!

[sparksStar|0 likes] [|reply]

My Mum was 43 when I was born, lol. I turned out ok
As for Henry.. When Harley started school we had some (a lot) of issues with him. I had to work closely with his teacher to get him even manageable. I guess I was lucky they didn't kick him out. Apparently boys get a testosterone surge at that age as well which doesn't help anything at all. I don't think they should just kick him out all the time. It helps nothing at all. Harley did settle down, so it IS possible good luck.

[mrs mandy mooStar|0 likes] [|reply]

WOW!!!! Congrats!!

Yep...I was here!

[SproutStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Best of luck with your new ... uh ... project! My mother was 41 when I was born and that was way back in 1943. Holy heck ... that was the previous century! Anyway, my point is that back then it was a whole lot different. Hell, they didn't even have bandages. Well, actually they did but please allow me a little dramatic exaggeration.
What I'm trying to say is that I turned out fine, although my wife (God bless her) might beg to differ. And who am I to contradict her who knows everything?
Anyhoo, good luck.

[grungepappy|0 likes] [|reply]

Hope you have a Great Week ahead...Happy Holidays!!!!

[BritishPoptart|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you for the warm welcome. Warm is my favorite kind of welcome!
I'm sorry your kitten seems to be having a tough time in school, but he is lucky! You seem to be a good Mama who really cares about her kitten! Good luck on hopefully getting the job!!! That sounds pretty exciting, and Christmas is the perfect time for happy things.

Paws & Kisses, Meemers

[Meemers|0 likes] [|reply]



Oh goodness. That sounds so difficult. I work with kids most days and I know it can be SO hard to figure out what is going on and why they behave the way they do. Has Henry been to a therapist or someone who might be able to work with him behaviour-wise?
I can imagine it must be very stressful for you!

[*snowflakeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you!

[-H-|0 likes] [|reply]

RYN: Thanks. Do you like it here? Is tech support good? Any tips for me?? I just transferred my stuff from opendiary.com because I am sick of the lack of tech support and all of the outages. This site has the closest layout to what I am used to. Still trying to figure this all out... lol

[--Heather|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you for the welcome

[NotSoSuperWoman|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Thank you!

[HellButterfly~|0 likes] [|reply]

Thanks!

[ShinyBeast|0 likes] [|reply]

Awww, thank you kindly. I hope 2013 treats you well.

[emmathy|0 likes] [|reply]

I stumbled upon you here! I really have no words that other people haven't already said, so I will just say live your life the way you want to live it and your friends will support you regardless of what happens. I wish you nothing but happiness in your life.

[mom2kyle|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: I don't even know where to begin

next entry: New Year....

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