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It's been a long time!
by ~Just the 3 of Us~

previous entry: And now....

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What's wrong with me??

09/26/2012

I don't know how to deal with my feelings at the moment....





So, a few things have happened in the last week or so. I guess my SIL was "stalking" (for lack of a better word) J's facebook page and asked me if the pics on there were of his ex-wife. I told her I had no idea, so I logged in through my phone to take a look. And, yes, there are many pictures on there that I had never seen before of him and his ex-wife. I realize he has this "past"...shit, I have a past. We all have pasts. But the pictures bothered me. And of course, my brain is trying to tell my heart to get over it because he can't change his past and I know this. But the pics still bothered me. Am I being irrational?

Then, today, I find out that his ex-wife has been stalking his Bloop diary. Thankfully, no one knows (not even you guys) which diary is his and I don't believe that people who read him know which diary is mine (not that it would be all that hard to figure out). However, I feel violated. I feel like she could have come close to figuring out who I am and that it would have become an issue. I'm very sick to my stomach over this and I really can't seem to figure out why. He's moved on....he's waiting for his court date to finalize the divorce...it's over between the two of them. Maybe I'm afraid, even though I know that he won't, that somehow she would be able to convince him to go back and work things out. Obviously, if that's what he really wanted, I would not stand in his way and I would let him go.

Maybe I'm just afraid that I'm going to get hurt in all of this? I just don't know....I'm very conflicted.





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Ask him to delete the pics. Poof be gone!

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

I can't bring myself to ask him to delete them because I don't feel that it's my place. Even though I'm his girlfriend, I never like to tell the person I'm dating that they "have to do something". Do you know what I mean?

[~Just the 2 of Us~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

Yes I understand...but its still inapporpriate. I don't think it's out of line to say that those pics make you feel uncomfortable and then the bal is in his court as to what he's going to do.

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

Since he reads my diary, he knows they bother me...plus I told him the first day I saw them how they bothered. He loved that I was being possessive to an extent. lol He has read your comments and he flat out asked me if I wanted him to delete them. I told him that I didn't feel it was my place and he told me he would if I want him to. I guess I would rather him make that decision on his own rather than "make" him.

[~Just the 2 of Us~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

hmmm Kim is right in seggesting to delete the pics.
However, in the time that he has been with you, has he not been truthful, honist, caring, loving and all that?
Dont let his crazy x change your mind about what a wonderful guy he is. *hug*

[A RedSox Fan|0 likes] [|reply]

You are absolutely right Jonathan...he has been truthful, honest, caring, loving and so much more. At the same time, I know how women are and I don't trust any woman as far as I can throw her! lol But, yes, I will not let his crazy x change my mind about how wonderful he is! Thank you for being such a great friend! ((hugs)) P.S. I can't wait to hug you in person in November!!!

[~Just the 2 of Us~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I wouldn't be too worried about the pics on their own;! He may well have just not thought a great deal about them. Address them if it bothers you, though. Better to bring it up than stew on it. I think you're right, though. This is more about your insecurities than anything he has done or is even thinking. He wants to be with you

[mrs mandy mooStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I didn't realize he read your diary. I do hope that nothing I said was offensive. Just being a friend.

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

Not at all! You're fine Kimberly. I met J on bloop so we read each other's diaries.

[~Just the 2 of Us~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I would have the insercurities, too.
So....what has he done about all this. Has he taken your feelings seriously and done all he could to make you feel like the most important person in the world to him?
(((hugs)))

[*Stealth Bombshell*|0 likes] [|reply]

Yes, Robin, he has. He was the first to comment on this entry and affirm everything he feels for me. He truly is a great guy! I just need to move past my own insecurities! lol

[~Just the 2 of Us~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

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