 GAH!
i don't know what it is. everything about pat just breaks my fucking heart. i don't know if any of you have ever been in this type of situation, where you help and help and give and give and the only thing they do in return is make you feel like you have made a huge mistake.
imagine this:
Your heart.
Gets torn from your chest.
Not instantly.
But slowly, painfully,
being ripped out with a dull instrument.
As it's being pulled out of your body, someone slaps you in the face.
This causes you to fall to the ground unable to get back up.
Your left with no other option but to watch.
Watch that person, who has your heart in their hands, squeeze it.
Leaving bruises and dents.
and then,
they chuck it.
They throw it into the middle of the road, just in time for a fucking truck to smash it.
and your left dumbfounded.
what the fuck do you do from here??
what is even more sick.
even though your heart has been crushed into a fucking powder,
it still beats for the very same person that fucked you up in the first place.
i hate love.
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I have been there and put up with that. Thats the bad part about truely loving someone, it's that you'll continue loving them no matter what. Sometimes you just have to realize you love yourself more. You need to make sure you take care of yourself first. Sometimes it's just easier to rip out your own heart, because that heals way quicker. Best of wishes to you.
I am sorry. *hugs*
