crayon box
it's obvious he's lost in his regret,
you can smell it on his breath.
ok. so things have been good but i'm (slowly but surely) planning my escape. looking into new jobs (where i don't get screwed over), new universities.. still in the midwest, but further from where i am right now. it's all about moving on and out.
i see my dad for about 45 minutes per day (my school/work schedule and his work schedule obviously overlap) and that's more than enough time, apparently, to have him start fights with me. and the problem is that he's not serious, but he is. it's kind of confusing. you see, i do pay for my own car insurance, most of my own groceries, electricity, and heat on a monthly basis. oh and textbooks (thankfully i'm tuition-free, thanks to my low income fam.) that leaves him with the mortgage payment, the water bill, and whatever else. so every time he complains to me i want to deck him up side the head. and show him the sad state of my checking account. waa.
independence is something i've been itching for..
i feel like one of the reasons i'm pressuring myself to move out is because everyone else is (mainly just L). now, i don't submit to peer pressure (and i only have a couple times.. haha), but i can't TAKE it that everyone else is having a grand ole' time in their dorms, meeting new friends, being away from their families, and getting to experience life in new places, and i'm not. and i found out that my afore-mentioned friend, L is deciding that he's going to spend his sophmore and junior year going to school in chicago, IL and probably somewhere else after that point. while i'm still super upset with him over everything, i feel like i'm getting to that point where i just don't fucking care. i just need to change my number, so when his conscious finally decides to catch up with him (that and whatever he's drinking), he can't cry to me about how much he misses me and shit. that's annoying.
good news on my resolutions:
+ with the loss of one friend, i think i've gained (or re-gained, as i hadn't been talking to her) another.
- probably not transferring to mankato state. instead, perhaps an out of state school? (still figuring out the details)
+ saving up for my vaca!
- probably never going to stop wearing makeup. you should see what i look like when i wake up. yikes.
+ i started thrift-shopping again. and have not spent ANY money on new clothes so far this year.
- no job, and a bunch of debt ($1300) still. working on that.
- had starbucks once so far this year (although this is a VAST improvement from before!)
AND i have some lame picas from a few days ago.
there's something totally majestic about a frozen waterfall!
oh, minnesota winters. how dearly i'll miss you. |
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im not driving don't worry.
. i did hear that minnesota winters are really bad
