"Waaah! Edward is really dating that whore who's playing Bella! Arg!" I stared at Mandella's blinking SMS message on my phone as I ran across the street to the SM Department Store in Ayala. Car horns blared in the background, and a guy hooted from the passenger door of a red Toyota Corolla. I restrained myself from giving him 'the finger'. I entered the mall, and let the guards rummage through my bag absent-mindedly. The cool airconditioned air greeted me happily as I entered the department store, which played happy Christmas music in the background. The counters were lined with emerald wreaths sprinkled with glitter, and christmas balls.
"I like Kristen Stewart. She's odd and wierd. Hehe. I'd rather she date him than say...any cast member to Laguna Beach or something." I never liked Laguna Beach. It was so overrated, so are their cast.
"But still...I want him all to myself. All scruffy and hot." Mandella insisted.
I rolled my eyes, grinning. "Of course...all scruffy and hot and British. Shag-worthy Edward. If you probably had it your way, you'd cuff him to your bedpost and have him for breakfast, lunch, merienda, dinner and midnight snack."
"Oh yeah. Whip cream on his chest hair. Love it."
"Yes. If you ever encounter a hairball problem, remember TWO lifesaving things: gag and spit. Gag and spit!"
"Hairball. Sexy."
I giggled, my all-too-familiar sarcasm radar quickly picking up on hers.
"Inspired to write novel sagas," I began. "Teenage human and teenage mermaid. The mermaid has fins and feet and attends highschool. Falls in love. Star-crossed luvaaaahs. What do you think? Brilliant, eh? There's ALOT of swimming involved. Hehe." I was deeply and thoroughly entertained by the stupidity of the idea.
"How are they supposed to have sex?"
Of course! The sex part! The climax of every novel worth reading! The tipping point! How could I not have thought of my newly-conceived characters having sex?!
"Hahaha! Still have to figure that part out." I laughed.
"I mean, with all those scales? Ooh, I know! The baby will be hatched from an egg! Fish eggs!"
"That's brilliant! Yes! Fish eggs! Then they hatch into these tiny siyokoys then they gradually
evolve into mermaids! Then they imprint on humans!"
"They don't imprint on humans. They squirt! Wahahaha!"
"Ok. Sure. They squirt gayuma that's very potent that it can never be undone."
"Wait! What or who will be the mermaid's arch nemesis? Ursula?"
"Vampire mermaids...and...ursula." This was getting more screwed-up than I thought, giggling to myself--the type of giggle that was almost of the verge of cringing. It was like eating booger--but hilarious, nonetheless.
"What about Jacob Black? Furry mermaids?!?"
"They're the epal ones in the story. Sila ung Igor ni Ursula...hairy chests, have claws and have sonar. They also turn into humans every new moon. Hahaha!"
Mandella's funny.
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