I'm back again. This is probably my fourth diary? Yeah.
Caitlyn doesn't know about this, nor I think will she. We're not really friends anymore. Kind of her decision. To be honest, because of her homeschooling, I don't think she's quite socially equipped.
Well, I'm in the process of getting over Brad, a boy I've been hopelessly devoted to for two years (which is a common timespan of me liking people). He's boring, rude, and he's gotten to be overtly perverse, which isn't my idea of an ideal person to date. I knew he was boring the whole time, and I could try to explain why I was so hooked, but I can't. He ended up being a skeeze when I told him about my feelings. He posted the whole thing on a sports forum, which in my opinion makes him a bigger pussy than me and all of my gay friends combined. lol. The worst part is he told me he had AIDS so I would back off. And gullible me believed him, somewhat. I thought that, whether it was true or not, he was testing me to see if I would love him either way. And well, how does a guy usually get AIDS? Promiscuous gay sex, right? Well, it ended up getting back to him that I assumed that that's how he got it, and bitched at me (because that would really be an insult coming from me... a theatre-savvy gay-loving bisexual). Then he showed me the sports forum. GAH. Anthony told me that I dwell too much in the city I live in. I guess he's right, but high school, as much as it sucked, was such a rigid, clear, social structure. I got to see my friends, enemies, etc. every day.
So I'm dealing with stupid boy shit, but I kind of went manic and lost my mind around this time, and I lost like... all of my friends. They thought I was "schizophrenic," or "annoying," or "awkward." And I have been trying to improve myself, but I think in this case, with most people, the damage is fucking done.
Oh yeah, and I'm looking for a job in the most recession-shit-on area in the U.S.: Metro Detroit.
I'm dealing with my loneliness with Harry Potter and various other books, and I do have a therapist who's going to help me find a job... But other than that, life has certainly been better. |
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re-welcomes.
