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just a reminder to myself that I was 19 here. My priorities and maturity level were very different.
okay. i'll add more tomorrow. I would feel so bad taking up the entire front page of Bloop. lol maybe i'll scatter them about the next few days.
Time: 10:39pm
State of Being: stressed and depressed, amused that I'm stressed and depressed. amused that I can be amused. annoyed that I can be amused at being amused. and stressed that I'm annoyed.
Song lyric in my head: time keeps on slipping slipping slipping.. into the future
current desire: for everything to go right for oncee
where am I?: computer room
what's that noise?: listen to the sound of silence
Alright. I need to rant. feel free to roll your eyes at how little these things are, but when they add up, it's not very fun.
Things that are going wrong
-I don't have my lap-top. (all my files are on it. and I'm starting school on monday and I need it for school)
-i don't have my alarm clock (Krystle left it in her trunk. My dad is currently a bit angry at me for Krystle leaving it in her trunk. the last thing i need is my dad mad at me. i stress again that school is starting on monday and it would be nice to have that alarm clock. i won't see it for a couple weeks)
-I'm moving out tomorrow. I have to pack everything up. and I don't know where to start. and I'm freaking out. (I could never deal with change very well. I forgot how much I was freaking out when I moved away from Florida.)
-my mom and her friggin computer shit. (yeh get this. she blocked new age sites and occult sites from being viewed. parental controls. I'm almost 20. give me a break. (good thing I'm smart enough to know how to shut them off) and the new age and occult thing is just another notion of how close minded she is and how she still thinks I'm this evil girl that's going to hell. yeh. but its not like I go on them 24/7 but there's this psychic readong newsletter I get that links to a site. "This site has been blocked. all things 'New Age' and 'Occult' have been blocked." bloody hell! oh and she uninstalled Windows Media Player. the only source of listenning to music on the computer. next time she asks me to burn a CD for her on her computer. I'll just say its her fault. this also goes back to me not having my lap-top. if I had my lap-top. this wouldn't be a problem. i could do whatever I want. but due to they're negligence, I don't.)
-my parents are smoking in the house again.. and in the car. (I asked them when I was ten to try and quit smoking. I wasn't going to move in with them a couple years ago because they still smoked. so I made up some rules to help them quit. go outside to smoke, and don't smoke in the car. now this also gets me out of their gross second hand smoking-ness. but they refuse to listen to me. they're smoking in the house again. I hope I'm the one who dies of lung cancer so they can finally feel somewhat guilty. because if it was them, they don't care about killing themselves. they promised to quit smoking. but they've been "trying" for ten years. I'm sick of it all. PS. I'm 110% against smoking, but I still have friends that smoke too so I'm not all anti-them. don't get me wrong)
-The wall mart bag broke when I went to pick it up. (this is was right after I told myself nothing was going right. I said it outloud, picked up the bag full of school supplies, and it broke. it's kind of funny now that I think about it, but it just goes to show yah)
-I'm sitting here having a hissyfit when I could be packing. But I just don't know where to begin.
-Leon is still not online. I haven't talked to him in a week and I miss him. mreh. not to mention if he's not online at this time. He's probably going through something far worse then my stupid complaints. I'm really worried. and scared to leave the computer incase he comes on.
-School starts on monday. (Normally I wouldn't mind, but I'm too stressed at the moment to think about school.)
--
aight. that was fun. I needed to get that out of my system. mreh.
-mel-
11:03pm
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