Time: 940am
State of Being: hrmmm I'm cool
Song lyric in my head: de da de da do do do do do de da de da do do do (From Robin Hood)
current desire: a need a job! I want to work! anything! okay. almost anything.
where am I?: in the bedroom on the bed
what's that noise?: Watching Psychic Investigators
What is one thing over the last year you have learnt.
hrmm Teaching Middle and High School Science last school year actually taught me a bunch of really cool science facts. I loved Science when I was a student back in the day, and I was surprised how much I actually retained. But i was also surprised at the stuff I had forgotten or never learned.
Emotionally, I learned the stress limit I can reach. I think I push myself on purpose sometimes, because even though I know I'm stressed, and I know I have anxiety, and even depression, I still know it's all in my mind, and I can overcome it. This time I think I pushed myself too far and snapped. That was probably the lowest I've ever felt. It sucked. Because I really do consider myself a hippie. I believe in happiness, love, and peace. I believe in overcoming anything with a smile. For the most part, I have right now. I still feel all that crap, but I'm back reminding myself it's all in my head. I quit my job for my own sanity. And consequently, I put myself in this position, but I am nothing but in my head right now. I just can't wait to work somewhere. I'm really bummed about that school. I'm really bummed that the lady wants me to teach there, but their plans for immediate hire fell through. lol
okay I'm babbling about nothing that has to do with the NoJoMo lol.
So yesterday I met up at Panera Bread with people from NaNoWriMo in my county. It was really cool to get together with a lot of writers. They said they meet there every other Sunday all year long, and not just in November. I think I really want to start going. They don't just meet there, it's other random locations throughout the county on different days. I love meeting new people. I feel like relying on my writing hobby as an outlet has really helped me after I quit my job. Good timing for NaNo.
I made a facebook status about my Panera Bread adventure. I asked if anyone wanted to join me next time, and it's possible Lindz might come. And I might be meeting up with my two teacher coworkers from last school year. I miss those two immensely. However, I'm not sure I really want company now. Even though it's too late. I feel like a bad person thinking that. But it's nice to have something that's just for me. To meet this new group of people and have another group of friends separate from my real life. Because the people I met yesterday were awesome. They were really cool and appealed to my nerdy quirky nature. And some of them are even published writers, and it would be awesome to get the motivation from them to continue writing. Does that make me selfish? Wanting a life separate from my regular one. This new adventure just for me. I'm in this odd conundrum of emotion. Perturbed that I invited others to join me, and guilty for not really wanting them there. I mean it's not like it wouldn't be enjoyable to have them. Lindz is an awesome writer, and it would be good for her too to have some creative time. And my two teacher friends are both writing and language arts, so it's right up their ally. And I miss them very much.
Russ just came home.. for some reason. hrmmm... I thought he had 7 hours of work today. lol
peace.
-mel-
10:12am
|
Loading...