.x. One day at a time

Oh boy....the holiday season.  Fuck man....I hate this time of the year with a passion.  3 kids birhdays, then Christmas.  I'm lucky to do birthdays....buying for 8 kids on Christmas is pretty much im-fucking-possible.  It's hard being poor with this many kids :|.  Yesterday, Charity turned 11.  Waylon and Merle's birthday is on the 18th.  We took her out for Mexican.  She has turned into the little artist.  She loves drawing so she got some sketch books...markers, pens, etc.  Couple of outfits.  Portable charger.  Boots, some house shoes....just random things she wanted.  The only 2 things on her list that she didn't get was a laptop (yeah right....I can barely afford the weekly payments on mine) and a ring, but I told mom she needs to be sized for one cause my rings are too small for her.  

We still don't have any insulation....and let me tell you....it is fucking cold.  Like......freezing cold.  We have a space heater, but of course you dont feel it unless you're right up on it....because ya know...no insulation mean our heat doesn't stay in.  The only thing saving us is an electric blanket.  It's so cold I won't even let the kids sleep up here.  So if you hear of a couple freezing to death in Tennessee, it's just us.  As of next week, the highs will be in the 30s.  Yeah, that's a mind fuck all in it's own.  We are trying to insulate with cardboard temporarily, but you have to have layers of it, which means a shit ton of cardboard that only comes every few days, and of course it can't be wet.  Has to be fairly new cardboard.  Kinda fucked up.  Waylon begs to stay with me and David.  Breaks my heart.  If I had the money, I'd order the insulation online.  I think at home depot, if you order online, you get a $7 discount on each roll you buy.  I need about 40 rolls, so about $520.  Lol anyone got that laying around I could borrow?  Fuck I've gotta get out of this rut.  It's driving me crazy and making me miserable....and we won't even talk about my mental health today.