.x. Still Going...but barely

So me and David have now been separated for 4 months now.  I'm glad.  We're finally able to have a civil conversation.  *Most of the time*.  I told him I might let Waylon stay the night with him sometime soon but I'm still not sure.  I guess we'll have to see how everything goes.  I'm still talking to Jacob.  He's very sweet.  In other news I think I've gained like 30 pounds since being seperated from David.  I think part of it is depression even tho I'm taking meds for it.  I just feel like....I dunno.  Like I'm just too exhausted to get up.  I have no clue what the fuck is wrong with me or why I feel the way I do.  Half the time I don't even know what I feel.  Aggravated?  Angry?  Sad?  I dunno.  I'm just exhausted on feeling anything if I'm being honest.  I like the way I feel numb sometimes.  I dunno, probably sounds stupid I know.  Sometimes I just dont wanna talk about what I'm feeling.  I don't want to feel anything.  Fuck I dunno.  I'm confused as fuck anymore, along with exhaustion.  I just sleep most of the time.  Can't bring myself to get up and move.  Or care to move.  Like, I know I'm gaining weight but I don't have the motivation to get off my ass and do something about it.  I've turned into a lazy fuck who doesn't care about anything I think.  I never thought separation would have me feeling...this strange.  I dunno.