So in addition to my last entry, no I'm not pregnant. Made sure of that during my tubal surggery. I am on anxiety medicine, buspirone 10 mg twice a day, but she is going to be upping my dosage because my anxiety is so bad. I thought that maybe it waas the sertraline that i take at bed time, but i stopped taking it and i still have the nightmares. Ive gotten to where im actually scared to go to sleep cause the nightmares are so vivid and so real. I mean, im watching me and my family die horrible deaths nightly, like over and over. It breaks my heart and i kinda feel like its throwing me in this crazy weird depression.
In other news, it seems like I might be a grandma soon. YEAH. WTF is happening. Its lil david. Hes 16, bout to be 17....they say if its a boy his name will be Titan...and a girl will be Ariella.
Havent really had a lot of thoughts about it. Waylon is 2, and he is going to have a niece/nephew soon?
Anyways, sobriety went good til this evening. No relapse....but me and David did get some vodka. I think I took about 8-10ish shots (100 proof) so....yeah. I dont like alcohol, but we did need to just chill and blow off some steam. So at least it wasnt no pills or meth or acid or heroin or whatever else we could have gotten our hands on. Just a few shots while cooking dinner and some music.
Im gonna go cuddle up with my Waylon. Night guys.
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