I haven't been to the gym this week. Not one single day. I pulled a muscle in my back earlier in the week and it's been hurting really bad. I've been taking tylenol because I didn't want to go to the ER like I did last time and get a shot (although that helped it so quickly) because A. I can't afford an ER bill and B. I wanted to tough it out and deal with the pain.
Wanna know a secret?
I miss the gym.
Yeah, the fat girl said it. I MISS THE GYM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what it is, but as soon as I walk in there and see all the people working out it makes me feel good! Plus the eye candy there isn't half bad either. Mrowl!!
And this may sound delusional, but I think I even caught one of the muscle dudes checking me out. Now it could've been because I was huffing and puffing my fat ass on the treadmill and sweat was pouring down my face but whatever.
I just got done reading a really good book called The Cinderella Pact by Sarah Strohmeyer. I strongly suggest reading that book. It was really good and even though the story was fiction it made me do some thinking.
As a fat girl, we have this mindset that no matter how much weight we lose, we'll still be that fat person.
We expect people to treat us a certain way because of our weight and I think that's bullshit. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I don't have feelings! Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I shouldn't get the same respect a thin person does. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't do the same job a thin person can do. Ugh it makes me angry when people think just because I'm fat I'm stupid or not worthy of their time.
So you know what? Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to that gym and if some attractive man smiles at me even with sweat pouring down my face and I'm huffing and puffing my fat ass on some machine, I'm going to smile back at him and maybe even say hi because I deserve to be able to have that smile!
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