14
It had been a week since Bina and Rob got to London. So far it had been amazing, minus staying with his parents. They were nice and all, but she simply couldn’t have sex with Rob with his parents down the hall. Tonight was dinner with Rob’s two sisters who were rarely in town, so it was a treat for Richard and Clare. As they were getting ready to walk out the door, Rob grabbed her hand and pulled Bina close to him.
“I love you” he smiled, his blue grey eyes stirred with desire. It had been far too long since she made love to him. He kissed her lightly at first then found his hands entangled in her hair, kissing her deeply. She let out a very quiet moan into his lips. Bina pouted as he pulled back. Parents or no parents, she couldn’t resist him any longer.
“I love you too” She sighed happily, but there was something in the pit of her stomach. She chalked it up to nerves from the whole situation, that and being in three different time zones in less than a month.
His parents drove, they sat in the back seat and Bina felt like a teenager on a date. Their fingers linked together Rob leaned over to whisper in her ear.
“I’m not wearing underwear.” Bina giggled and shook her head at him. “Want to feel?” He brought her hand over to the crotch of his pants and sure enough, he had gone commando. She groaned internally, wishing she could jump him right now. She leaned over to him, her lips barely touching his skin, but enough to ignite the passion between them and whispered
“I’m not wearing panties…” Rob’s face turned to hers quickly, his eyes wide and full of humor and a little, ok a lot, of lust.
“God I love you” he mumbled against her neck.
***
Dinner was good, great conversations, and Bina got along pretty well with Lizzy, Victoria on the other had was a little less apt to letting her in. She understood though, she was new and Robert was incredibly famous. Back at the house, Richard went into the kitchen and brought Rob a beer. Bina had declined, which was an odd thing for her to do but she didn’t feel like drinking, too many nerves already.
“I’m gonna head up to bed hon.” Bina leaned over and kissed him lightly.
“Ok, love. I’ll be up in a little bit.”
At eleven Bina was half asleep when Rob came into the room. He kissed her cheek and lips.
“Baby, Tom stopped by and wanted me to go out with him, just for a couple drinks.”
“Oh…” she grumbled. “Sure, ok?” He left and she dozed off to sleep.
At quarter after two in the morning, Bina woke with a start. She heard noise down stairs, then heard Rob’s laugh. Grudgingly she threw the blankets back and went down to see what he was up to. There she found him staggering around the room like a lost puppy. The step creaked under her foot and caught his attention.
“Hey baby” he slurred loudly. She shushed him and went down the rest of the stairs, wrapping an arm around his waist.
“Little drunk, are we?”
“Yeah” he hiccupped. Finally up stairs and in their room, Bina tugged off his jeans and pushed him on the bed. “You want me baby?”
“Not right now sexy man.” she kissed him, he tasted like alcohol and smoke. He curled up into a ball, she scooted next to him.
“I love you, so much.” he said quietly. Before she had time to replied he said “I’m not sure I want to…” and passed out. Bina laid there stunned, a lump was in her throat the moment the words sank it. Of course he was drunk but there’s the quote, ‘drunken words are sober thoughts’. She pulled back from him and rolled over, she closed her eyes tight but sleep didn’t come.
The next morning when Rob awoke, he was alone. He ran a hand over his eyes, his head pounding. He looked around the house for Bina and found her on the porch with a mug of coffee in hand. He walked over to her but she didn’t look up. He leaned down to kiss her but she dodged away from him.
“What’s the matter love?”
“Don’t.” she got up and walked into the house. His parents had left early that morning to go shopping and out for breakfast.
“What did I do?”
“It’s not what you did. It’s what you said” emphasizing the word ‘said’.
“What?”
“Why don’t you like loving me?” she blurted out. She was trying not to be hurt but between lack of sleep and intimacy, she was on edge.
“I… I” he stammered and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I don’t know…”
“Last night you told me you love me but said you weren’t sure you wanted to.” His fingers wrapped in his hair, his eyes not looking at hers.
“I didn’t mean it.”
“Like hell Rob. Why can’t you look at me?!” He looked up, still not making eye contact. Finally his gaze caught hers, his eye were a dark grey smothered in fear. “You’re the one who brought me here. You wanted to meet the parents…”
“I know…” Regret flashed in his eyes. “It was too soon, I’m sorry…”
“Now you’re backing away?”
“No.” he paused and looked down at the floor.
“And hear I actually thought you loved me…Then again you are an actor.” His eyes froze on hers, anger blazing in them.
“Yes, I’m SUCH a good actor” he shouted, Bina was thankful they were in the house. “All this was a big screen test.” His hands flung in the air. She turned around and walked up the stairs, she willed herself not to cry until she had shut the door. She sat on the bed, tears didn’t come like she thought. Her chest was heavy and tight, then Rob walked in. A single tear spilled over onto her cheek. To her it was humiliating but to Robert, it was heart wrenching.
“Sabrina…” he stepped closer, kneeled in front of her. “I’m sorry. So sorry love…The reason I said that last night is because I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.” She looked up at him, more tears were threatening. She swallowed hard.
“I want to go home” she whispered, her throat rasped in pain.
“Ok, I’ll switch our tickets. We’ll be home by tomorrow.”
“No. I want to go home. Alone.” The inside of her chest fluttered in pain, her eyes were heavy, and she wanted to cling to him but she couldn’t.
***
She left that night, alone. She felt half of what she was when she went there . Walking into her home, she felt like a stranger. Bina was supposed to be gone for another week and she knew she should call the girls, but she couldn’t yet. She couldn’t say it out loud. Instead, she crawled into bed and wept.
***
Rob didn’t leave his, their, bed. Crying wasn’t something he liked to do but when he had nothing left, he cried. He buried his head in the pillow and cried. When he got back to LA tomorrow, he wasn’t moving an inch until he figured out a way to make it up to her.
Love Bipolar Inc | Image: Photobucket.com
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