Today has been a really fun day hangin' out w/the hubby at home. He had to go in to work tonight (on 1 of his days off) but I can't complain b/c its overtime for us. Besides its 1 of 4 days off & he'll be going back to work on Sunday so he has plenty of time to rest. Tomorrow is our 5 yr wedding anniversary! I keep on thinking wow 5 yrs & we made it along w/awhole lot of bumps along the way of course! Every marriage has them. We've actually been together for almost 10 yrs & only married 5 & started out young (him 20, me 19 at the time) so we've come along way. The main thing I want for my anniversary is the 1 thing I can't have...a child of our own. We've been pregnant once before about 3 yrs ago but I miscarried a few weeks into the pregnancy which is normal from what the drs say, but ever since then it hasn't happened again the us getting pregnant. We have been trying & trying but still nothing. Before we got pregnant we went to a fertility Dr. & they ran some test & did exams & she said that the way it looks it'll be difficult to get pregnant, but by some miracle we ended up pregnant but miscarried. That was 3 yrs ago. I know I'm still young & can't give up hope, but it just seems like everyone around us is either pregnant or just had a baby & it bothers me to think that I'll never be able to experience that joy. I know there's always adoption but we haven't talked about that yet & my husband doesn't want to use a surrogate or do ivf so we don't know yet things are still up in the air or probably b/c its still kind of a sensitive subject for the both of us. It kind of puts a wedge into a marriage b/c I know that it bothers him to see our friends w/kids knowing that we can't have any of our own, but we're not gonna give up & just enjoy the company of each other until that day comes. My best friend has the same problem as me so we have each other to talk to for support when something is bothering us in that department & I don't know what I would do without her. |
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