Good News & Bad News, Best Friends & Bossy Queens, Self-Talk & Shocking Dazes...What Else Can There Be?

03/01/2013

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FRIDAY
1st March 2013, 3.21 PM.

GOOD NEWS
I'm going to let rip.

HOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Exams are OVER, dude! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAD NEWS
I have a retest! That's right, you heard me! I have a RETEST! Retest for Arabic. Actually, I passed (but only just) and we were each given three extra marks since one hour was apparently not enough for an Arabic exam. The fail mark is 30 and those who got below 39 had to have a retest. Well, I got 39 (so close!) but there was a question that Ustazah Easy had marked wrongly. I really didn't want to own up, but I wasn't going to be a cowardly person - I want to be a honest one! So I owned up...and it's hello to retest! Sigh.

Well, anyways, just now Honeybee invited me to go to her house. Actually, I'd asked her to go to mine, but she thought we might get bored because we can't connect to Bloop with Jumardini (only with my mom's personal hotspot) so we turned the tables and she asked me. Obviously, I wanted to go but I had to ask my mom. I knew for sure she'd disagree. I was right. In the end, I got so angry I cut the call without saying "Bye" to my mom. Then, I went off to my bus (I take the school transport). As I did so, I thought about all sorts of angry things. Then my 'other self' kicked in. So here's our conversation went (sort of):
ME: I hate my mom!
OTHER SELF: No, you don't, and you know it! You know that you love your mom a lot! Take back those words!
ME: Shut up! You're always telling me to take back my words and all! I'm sick of you and my mom!
OTHER SELF: You do love her! TAKE IT BACK! NOW!
ME: FINE, I TAKE IT BACK!
And it went on like that. I'm glad that I'm obsessed with self-talk. It helps me manage my anger (most of the time) and it gives me company. I am so sorry I said those words now. On the way home in the bus, I took a deep breath and decided to apologise to my mom - which is a hard thing to do for me. I mean, I don't know, it's easy enough to apologise to my friends, but my mom? Awkward! I've never apologised to my mom before, only when my father yells at me to do it or if she does it first. All those times, I did want to apologise to my mom, but I was a cowardly scaredy-cat. After apologising to my mom, she forgave me and also reminded me that I could go over to Honeybee's house on Hari Raya. I knew that, but Hari Raya is like, months away! Still, I'm glad that was over.

I love you, mom. So, so, so much. I'm so sorry for being a pain in the ass and for worrying you sometimes. I love you.

I love you, dad. You have been so kind and understanding to me, yet I keep disappointing you. I'm so sorry.

Well, I must say, a year ago, I would never have imagined being best friends with Honeybee. I treasure every second I spend with her and she is really good company (once you get used to her sarcastic personality, of course.

Or at least try not to ask stupid questions like I do to her)! Like, during Contact Time (it's a period that we have every Friday, with our form teachers), when Ms Drill announced that we have to pay to register for PSLE, I was shocked. Pay? As in P-A-Y, pay?! That would mean that if I failed, not only would I be disappointing my family, I would've wasted their money! When Ms Drill said that, I was standing beside Honeybee's table. When Queen Bossy (one of my classmates who's bossy; hence the name!) told me to sit, I couldn't. I was in a daze. I couldn't believe that my parents had to pay to get me registered for PSLE. Shorty and Queen Bossy kept telling me to go back to my place and sit but I didn't. Actually, there were two reasons:
1)I was in a daze
2)I wanted to be with Honeybee
Queen Bossy also told Ms Drill about my standing up but Ms Drill was all like, Takpe lah, biarkan dia. Which means "Never mind, leave her alone." I guess it could also be because she was talking. Then Honeybee jumped up, grabbed my arm, and pulled me down into her seat. And she said something like, "Awak, cheer up, you won't fail." And I felt really grateful to her even though I still didn't believe that I wouldn't fail (by the way, "awak" means "you").

Honeybee, thanks, bro.

Another thing. Well, I guess Jar City allowed me to reveal her real name. Her real name is Siti Hajar. And no, Hajar is not her last name. But I won't use her real name, anyways. I much prefer using nicknames.

Guess that's all. Going to read random entries!

Have a great day, everyone!
"Life is a rollercoaster." -Dreamer

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