Just A Typical DayTUESDAY
16th July 2013, 6.22 PM.
You know, I had planned this entry since last night. I was so sure that today was going to be terrible. So sure that it was going to suck on ice. Why? Because I hadn't completed my Science homework, which I was supposed to do over the weekend but totally forgot about it (I managed to do Booklet A at the last minute, though), and I'd only did half of my English composition. To top it all off, there was a Nahu re-exam today which I didn't manage to revise for as I'd lost my SA1 paper and so I had no idea what to revise.
Well, my prediction may have been true in some ways, but to be honest? It was alright in the end. Because of my awesome BFFs. :3
I was feeling pretty crappy and negative all day. I kept telling myself that I "am a loser, I am worthless, I am stupid, lazy, and meant nothing to anyone. I disappointed everyone every time, I am going to fail my exams, and I am the worst friend ever because I chased my friends away". I kept convincing myself that I was worthless. I knew that I wasn't, and I hated that. I hated the fact that I was too smart to actually believe that I was worthless. I mean, everybody's worth something, right? Everyone has a purpose. Everyone has a meaning. So I was pretty much moody and indifferent all day. T.G and Honeybee just didn't talk to me since they usually thought that that was the best thing to do when I was in one of my 'moods'. I didn't blame them. I really confuse myself. I want everyone to stay away from me, yet I want them to stay nearby and figure out what's wrong with me. All day I was arguing mentally with myself.
But things weren't as terrible as I had expected them to be. Mr Ross only went through Booklet A (phew!) and didn't notice my empty-of-answers Booklet B. Ms Sahara was focusing on comprehension and oral and did not ask for our compositions (which would mean that she'd be asking for them tomorrow then). The Nahu re-exam...it was alright but we have another half-hour for it tomorrow! Which means I still have time to dig up my SA1 paper and revise it...I'm pretty sure I've seen it somewhere...
Then came the time for Honeybee, T.G, and I to go home after our extra class. We were going home together, as usual, but we stayed back at school for half an hour so that we could pray Asar first before going home. After we talked for a bit during the bus ride, Honeybee pulled out Juz 7 of the Qur'an and began to read. Well, it was because it's Ramadhan and it's the month when we practise ibadah and attempt to receive as many pahalas as we can. As for T.G and I, we continued chatting, which made me feel really guilty but I continued nonetheless. When we were nearing Ang Mo Kio (I know, not bothering to hide it anymore, lol...does it matter, anyway?) station, T.G nudged me and whispered into my ear, suggesting that we sneak downstairs (we were riding on a double-decked bus) without Honeybee noticing. I grinned, agreeing to her plan. Glancing at Honeybee, who seemed to be engrossed with the Qur'an in her hand, I slipped my hand into one of my bag straps and stood up, beginning to walk down the aisle. I turned to see if T.G was following but she was sitting there and kept making nervous glances at Honeybee. I was about to signal to her to hurry up but all of a sudden, without lifting her eyes, Honeybee raised her hand, pointed at T.G, and said one word.
"Stop." She then looked at me and pointed at me.
"You, sit down." She was half-smiling and there was light tone in her voice. Thinking that she accepted this as a joke, I smiled back and sat down. Both T.G and I were giggling madly by then. But when we were going down the stairs later on, Honeybee turned her head to face me when she was at the bottom step.
"I was reading the Qur'an and then you guys go and play pranks on me, eh?" she snapped. However, I didn't see that she was serious. I giggled but she frowned.
"And it's not funny, lah!" With that, she turned around and tapped her EZ-Link, waiting for the bus to stop at the bus stop. I raised an eyebrow and quickly did the same. T.G, who was behind me, hadn't heard Honeybee properly but she'd recognised the snappy tone.
"Kenapa?" she asked. Translation: Why? I shrugged and whispered what Honeybee had said to her. Honeybee was silent the whole time we went to the station. We sat together quietly at the bench. A while later, T.G suddenly got up and told us to wait a moment before heading off. I looked after her as she disappeared from view. As the train arrived, I stepped up to the platform and spotted T.G...with Shorty. I waved to them and they waved back as they went over. All passengers were not allowed to board the train that had just arrived so we just stood there before realising that Honeybee had quietly slipped off to another bench and followed her. She had continued reading the Qur'an. A minute later, the next train arrived. It wasn't so crowded so we thought that we might as well board it. Shorty went ahead and T.G and I were about to follow before we realised that Honeybee was still sitting. Walking back, we nudged her and told her that the train had arrived. She looked up, her facial expression set strictly in a poker face, and she just remained sitting there before looking at the sky and realising how late it was getting. She got up and we were about to run into the train but the doors were about to close so Honeybee grabbed us both and pulled us back before we did anything stupid, like attempting to run into the train before the doors could close. Which was what I wanted to do that moment. Letting go of us, Honeybee, T.G, and I watched with long faces as the train sped off, with Shorty shaking her head at us inside it.
"Why were you just sitting there?" I grumbled. As if I wasn't already moody enough that day. Now I was irritated. Honeybee didn't answer. Instead, she gave me her "Can't you see, it's so obvious" face. I glared right back at her. I knew that she was irritated with us for trying to play a joke on her earlier but it was just a joke! I was too annoyed to care, anyway. Fortunately, the next train came in one minute. As we entered, Honeybee thrust her hands forward.
"Also, how many times do I have to say, I don't like new people joining our group!" she snapped. I looked at her.
"I thought you said only conversation?" I scratched my head (it was only for show, though. You know, to make myself look confused. XD ).
"And also other groups!" I was just plain, old irritated by now.
"Whatever lah, you can't expect me to remember everything! I'm not perfect! Besides, she's already on the other train so there's nothing else to complain about." I walked a small distance away from her and stopped, unsure of where to go and feeling stupid. I spotted an empty corner and walked over there, putting my bag down. T.G and Honeybee came over to me. Then we talked. Even if I'm moody, I can talk civilly (sometimes...), you know. I spilled everything, how I had been feeling the entire day. Then, T.G asked us why we became her best friends in the first place (which was a question that she'd apparently been thinking about recently). Rolling our eyes, Honeybee and I gave her a friendly push on the arm and laughed. Everything felt fine. I felt awesome. Weird? So what? Honeybee then said that she knew that most things came in one ear and out the other for me (NOT true! Okay, maybe it is...a little...no, a lot...) so she wasn't going to say anything, just that she would always be there for me. Pretty soon, we were chatting like old times.
Takes more than that to break up a true friendship!
One day, I'll probably have those words staring at me in the face while I sit alone in my room. Hopefully, that'll never happen. You know what I mean...
Also, when I was walking back to my block this mroning, I noticed what looked like a flower petal fluttering about on the ground. That is, I thought it was a flower petal, until I looked a little closer and realised that it was a butterfly with lime green wings, outlined with a pale white! Aren't butterflies just awesome creations of nature?
Hope you had an awesome, peaceful day, everyone.
"Life is like a rollercoaster." - Miss Dreamer
P.S. This took way too long to write...Sx3.Layouts |
Loading...