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I, Defiant Verses's Diary
by I, Defiant Verses

previous entry: My hair looks so awesome.

next entry: Why I am the way I am (Part II) [poem]

Why I am the way I am (Part I) [poem]

09/15/2009

Listening to Pete Rock inspired me to write this,
written and read in verse so I can speak from the heart.
Here it goes:



I reminisce for a spell, or shall i say think back
27 years ago to keep it on track
The birth of a daughter in late October
A toast, but her own daddy didn't want her
Mom and Sis livin' with hobos
Now I suppose, life can dish out lows, huh
17 years younger than her mama
With a chip on her shoulder, she's followed by drama
Hating single parenthood, there he stood
Got married in a run and had another one
This one a boy, let's call him I
Could of used a father too but he really had to fly
off the handle, really loved drinkin'
Pops grabbed a knife and completely stopped thinkin'
Still the scar I can see in his hide
but not the memories while my baby sister cried
Moma never got wise to the game
Us growing kids: thinking this is how it is
Fled the state running from another spouse
Lost the career and the house
Listen, positive or negative for the children and mother
No more worries of father
Deja vu, tell you what I'm gonna do
When they reminisce over you, my god

When I date back I recall no man in the family tree
Someone step up, I guess that's me
Tried to grow from a boy to a man without seein' a father
Instead, i put myself up on the alter
Far from perfect but who am I to bicker
Not a bad ticker but I'm clocking pop's liver
But I will never say that my life is through
I didn't survive hell to mope and sing the blues
Here we go while I check the scene
With a unique disposition some would call mean
Some live peace, no pain, no fuss
But I bet you all your dough, they live less than us
Far from content, that's where you're wrong
Ran with the concept, now I'm gone
Hear that beat rockin' that jazz tune?
That's me banging my head on the wall in the next room
I smoke to de-stress trying not to be him
Do you like half baked, I can recite it verbatim
Now they tell me to live life under the court order
I said, cop, maybe when you're older
I laughed all night with the Doc at the party
The man getting mad yelling good god almighty
Used your mind, or lived Dr. Phil
When they reminisce over you, for real

previous entry: My hair looks so awesome.

next entry: Why I am the way I am (Part II) [poem]

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