.17.

So, apparently Master got so fucking wasted playing poker last night, that he decided not to even come home. Stayed the night at a hotel next to the bar & sent me a text about 1 this morning to let me know he wasn't going to drive home. I'm glad he decided not to drive, cause a drunk driver killed my best friend ever back in 2006, and it's something i just feel really strongly about...but I do wish he would have came home. I could have loaded up the kids & went and got him...they were so solid asleep by then it wouldn't have even woke them up to do it. However, that would have required leaving the jeep at the bar, which, I assume was why he didn't do it. It's definetely the better of our vehicles...barely a year old and gorgeous. Whatever though..Blah, would have been nice to have him to cuddle with though. Came home awhile this afternoon after work & showered & shaved & whatnot, brought me a pack of cigarettes and a xanax. Told me happy valentines day - how romantic lmao. Was nice though - I admit, they were needed. I have a perscription for xanax, but ran out...he got me one a little stronger then I usually get so I just broke it in half down to my usual dosage. Feels so nice to finally not be a basketcase. After he left he sent me a text message tellin me to see if my Mom can take the kids tomorrow night. Of course, she couldn't - she has plans with her husband. However, my sister came to my rescue & we get to go out tomorrow night! I'm so excited...really didn't figure our Valentines would equate to much. I had actually anticipated asking my sister if her and her husband needed a sitter, but, apparently it's "just another day" to them. I can't wait...I have no idea what on earth to wear though! We go out so rarely that I really don't have much to wear for getting dressed up lol Everything I have is either stuff I wear day to day playin with babies, or work stuff. I can't wait!!!! Picked up side job tomorrow at two to do hair & makeup for someone, doesn't pay much but I do love doing stuff like that. So excited!!!! This is going to be my first good Valentines day in years. Back in 2006, I was dating this guy that got me roses as a surprise...He let em on my car that morning, and I didn't get to see him again that day, but, it was cute...Next guy, I was engaged to - he was B & C's dad...Refused to ever do anything for Valentines day, says it's just invented by Hallmark. Sure, yeah, it's kinda silly, but, I AM A GIRL. I'd like it at least awknowledged! I don't need gifts, I don't need much of anything, but, a simple awknowledgement would be good. The fact Master is not only awknowledging it, but wanting to do something couple-y...wow! He's passing up poker tomorrow nigh for me. hah...He literally plays 6 nights a week, so, it's like...omg! haha.

Master went out to poker & dancing tonight..His usual Saturday night ritual. Told me I should have someone over while he's gone for some "fun" so I dunno, I guess we'll see. I must say that it is one aspect of our relationship that I do enjoy...We are so sexually open...We both figure it's not cheating if the other person knows. Sure, it's not traditional, but, we both enjoy it & it works quite well for us.

I still can't believe we are actually going on a date tomorrow!!! Wow. Hah...Didn't expect that at all.


Master found this somewhere & left it for me in a note on the dresser...I found it after he left. Across the top, he put "I read this & thought of you Babygirl xoxo (signed his name)"

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. But if she loves you now, whate else matters? She's not perfect, you aren't either, and he two of you may never be perfect together, but, if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking of you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart. so, don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze, and don't expect more then she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. - Bb Marley"