This is an entry about the girl i want to be. She has a real name but i thought it would be a tad mean to put it in since i'm going to explain how i got to be all messed up and depressed with myself. So i dated this guy named daniel. Thats not his real name but...well you know. So i dated him and he wasn't really the best. He wasn't very affectionate in public which i normally don't mind but it went as far as not being on the same side of the room as me...ever. So anyway i figured out he was getting everything i'm too shy to give from lots of other girls, and i knew most of them. I'm pretty sure they didn't know we were dating because of his lack of affection. One of the girls happened to be a very good friend. She knew. After she told me about that i met a very nice guy and left tj ,oops! i mean the guy, for him. We broke up for reasons i will explain later if you care. Tj moved on to "remy" who is absolutely amazing and talented and wonderful and gorgeous and perfect. Basically the opposite of me. And after some very conniving and manipulative words from my douche-y ex i fell for him again. Way harder than before. Don't ask me how, i can only chalk it up to being completely insane. So i have this habit of wanting to be everything this artistic beautiful soulful creative adorable overly loved vixen. I see her around school dressed to perfection on the days when i was too tired and settled for a dumpy tee-shirt and too-long jeans. And she is always walking with a posse of adoring followers on the days when i can't seem to find a friend. I've gone as far as becoming friends with her on facebook in order to continue my most favorite method of masochism. She is a straight A student who sings (god i wish so badly i could sing) and dresses like a total hipster. Which i can only pull off about once a semester. The worse part about this girl is that if i actually knew her i would probably worship the ground she walks on and we would probably be good friends. We like the same type of music and have alot of the same interest. If only i had her life... |
Loading...