Snow is just evil I think

I am ready for spring to be here. I don't want anymore snow or freezing cold weather. I might live in Michigan, but that doesn't mean that I must like the winters that happen here. To add to it today we got another 3 inches, we were suppose to get like 5. Thank the gods that we didn't. So being the bright person that I am, I decided that I would venture outside. My friend Melissa needed to go get military paperwork taken care of and she had the day off today. We had decided that we would go today to get everything done. Well we had decided that we would go tomorrow, but then at 10:30 she texted me saying 'hey I think that the roads should be okay to go.' So an hour later I was cleaning off my car in the damn snow. Come to find out the roads weren't that bad, well the main roads anyway. My road on the other hand were a fucking nightmare. I am lucky that I know my car and I know how to drive in shitty weather. LOL. So I get to her house in one piece only to come to find out that she can't get the military stuff done today. She has to make an appointment and she doesn't know when she can do that. So instead we went and got her new social security card along with her sons. Well we get to the building and she is able to get hers but can't get her sons because she doesn't have two forms of id for him. So she found out what she needs so she can get it. After that we went to an adult store. It has been forever since I've gone to one. Of course I am broke. Good thing I don't need anymore glass. TMI probably.




Of course now my back is having some major issues. It doesn't like long car rides and I should have tried to make myself a little more comfortable. Of course my meds for it aren't really going to help. I swear my body just laughs when I take them, saying 'you think that is really going to work on me anymore?' We will see if they help even a little bit, I just hope that it won't keep me awake all night. I don't need another night of tossing an turning, I've been doing that the past 3 nights. I don't know what I am dreaming about or what but its really getting to be annoying. Fact is I think I could pass out right now, but its not even 9 p.m. yet. So I can't very well do that I'd be up at 2 a.m. So I sit here writing this entry, which I wanted to write. Not one that I felt I needed to post just because. I have had a lot of trouble to past year writing here after the past crash. I didn't want to invest so much time into something that could be lost in an instant again. I'm not angry or anything, more annoyed with myself that I didn't back up my important entries on my computer like I do now. Lately I just feel the urge to write again. Most times I don't because I get the urge right after I turn of my computer, so I just let the ideas swim around in my head. I lose them that way. I really hate that. I really need to get better at writing what I am thinking and feeling. I have so much in me that I feel like I might explode at any moment. As of lately I seems all happy feeling and thoughts. Nothing of what I used to feel, the pain and sadness. I don't think of killing myself or harming myself in any matter. I am really proud of myself because of this. For months I went just having feels of just kill yourself, make the pain stop. I don't really know what changed. Maybe the fact that I moved away from things that would bring me down. Who knows. All I know is that I am happy again, and I just want to enjoy my life again. Now if I could just find a guy that loves me for me and makes me happy, my life would be a bit closer to being perfect the way that I would like them to be.

Okay so enough of my ramblings for the night.